Toys (Shiki X Reader) DISCONTINUED!!

My Wattpad Apology

Uhm hey there...It surely has been quite awhile. Today marks 2 years to be exact...

I've got to get something off my chest, and I need to explain why I physically couldn't continue to write / rewrite this fanfiction.

Not trying to give off a pity story but the past two years I've went through some serious stuff; relapsing a few times with my mental health, being sent to an impatient "clinic" for awhile, having everything anime-related taken away from me, practically being a guinea pig to psychiatrists as they're struggling to give me a diagnosis through several medication changes, I had a breast reduction, the list of negativity goes on and on.

But that's not the worst of this, and I realized this fact within the past year. This stupid X Reader became my karma. I ended up in a toxic relationship almost identical to (Y/n) and Shiki -except for the hot melting wax part- and I truly blame myself for it.

At the age of 14 I was fascinated with these types of stories. All the BDSM, kinks, the use of whips and handcuffs, sexual roleplays, turn-ons, petnames, daddy doms x submissive female sub, CnC, and a bunch of other technical terms / stuff I wasn't mature enough to even understand.

I had to pay for my actions by being trapped in that same terrifying position as (Y/n) (L/n) within the past eight months irl. The hopelessness and fear, the emotions and red marks, the tears and degrading comments; everything. And I have this book to blame.

There is nothing romantic about being with someone you're afraid of. I'm not talking about a roleplay sort of thing or power dynamic, I mean genuine fear and anxiety. You shouldn't have to endure this type of behavior and I certainly am ashamed as how I've blindly romanticized a terrible situation.

As much as I'm going to complain and make up excuses, I don't think it's possible for me to entirely hate this story. Sure, I wish the plot line was a bit better; but I've met so many wonderful people on here who have similar interests and taste in anime that I can relate to.

So if you couldn't already tell, I hereby am announcing Toys as discontinued. I don't fully know how Toys was going to end because honestly I was winging it entirely, but I had intended for Shiki to change into a better person and give (Y/n) a healthy relationship.

Myself irl believed my ex would eventually do the same...you know, change his behavior for the sake of relationships, both romantic and platonic, and have the chance to start over. But saying "change" is unrealistic. It isn't something you can develop overnight, although it is possible only if you put in the effort. And that's A LOT of effort most people aren't willing to put in...

Shiki was supposed to be trying his best and yknow this was kinda self projecting but he was gonna go through #therapy and become a better person. If anything try and think of that as Toys' ending.

Maybe this is just me denying my experience and having something to blame for my traumatic experience, I really don't know anymore

But not everything here is bad news and a miserable pity party!! I have several oneshots saved that I either never got to finish and some that were completed but never posted, which I will upload them onto my Dance with Devils Oneshots at some point today. And also a lot of corresponding artwork to go with it ^^;;

Even the one at the top which I thought was funny, there'll be plenty more of that.

I really thank you from the bottom of my heart. All of your love and support has been a blessing from above and I am honored to have made so many friends (even those I've lost contact with)

I think the only appropriate way to end this would be with;

Thank you guys so much for reading!! I hope you have a great day or night, wherever you may be!!

-Brie (4/29/22)