'Safe with Rafe' Y/N x Rafe Cameron

Chapter CXXI

You freeze, slightly cowered as you look up at Rafe, his face grows panicked like he hadn't yet really snapped.
"I stick around because I love you, Rafe, is that so hard to believe?"
For once, you actually felt like you should look away and so you do. You avert your eyes towards Sarah and Jj sitting on the bed, they look fearful while Pope sits all the same with his laptop situated on his lap. Rafe feels ashamed at his loss of temper so he too, looks away; unable to bear the expression he had regrettably put on your face.

"Y/N?"
You look towards Sarah who was now looking at you, eyes furrowed inwards as if she was filled with pity.
Her worried tone of voice causes Rafe to discreetly look at you too, instantly feeling his chest ache when he notices why.
You hadn't even noticed for yourself but your eyes began to glass over with tears, they could almost go unrecognisable if it wasn't for the very small, singular tear drops that sit speckled on your lower lashes, too small to really fall.
Rafe feels apologetic, but he can't bring himself to find it in him to pull you into an embrace, much less utter a single word such as a simple sorry.
So, he only stares.
Afraid to mess up again.
He felt that he was the last person who would be deserving of your touch, even looking in your direction felt undeserving. He can't help but blame himself for those little sparkling droplets in your eyes and it weakened him, body and soul.

But he didn't mean to yell at you.

You stood still, frozen in time and frankly embarrassed by how sensitive you are to Rafes words. Deep down, you knew Rafe meant no ill-will but hearing that particular tone, so harsh and so loud, it was new to you.
Rafe has been nothing but kind and protective of you so understandably, raising his voice at you so brutally with eyes he only had for Kelce, made you grow smaller under his shadow, withering in fear at his gaze that crazed with a raging storm inside and yet, when you look at him now, he only shudders away from you as if he was scared.

You've only seen him look like this with Ward.

Now, you were only two lost individuals standing in front of each other, both terrified and lacking the courage to speak up, no matter how sorry he felt and how faint hearted you were.

Your body wanted to move forward and so did his, slowly feeling them gravitate together until something anchored you back.
In your silence, you felt a hand tug at yours.
"Y/N, let's wait until he cools down." Jj says, his touch on you teases at Rafe, making him feel all the more pained knowing how much he craved it was his own hand instead of another's.
You remain quiet, breaking away as you pull your hand out of Jj's again but such a simple gesture had no power over the regret Rafe felt, the immensity of it caused him to finally turn away, his body along with his eyes as he slowly makes his way out of the room.

"Rafe-"
Your eyes furrow sadly as you raise your hand to catch his in time but you lacked the strength, only finding enough of it in you to mutter his name softly.
"Y/N," You turn around to face Jj with a stern face after he speaks your name once again, "-it's not safe for you to be around him."
"Don't patronise me, Jj."
"I'm just looking out for you-"
"Is that what that was last night?"
Jj shakes his head down at you, he looked angry but confused at your words, as if he only expected praise.
"Would you just- stop being so hard headed and let me look out for you, for once?!"
"Rafe is doing that just fine, better, actually."
You turn back around, following in Rafes path and out the door.

Rafe wasn't in the living room, nor was he in any other rooms that you could see. So, you walk outside, thankful to see his truck still parked on the grass.

As you scan the water side, your eyes fall upon John B's pier, from where you stood, it came to your realisation just how amazed you are that it still stood strong with beams as frail and worn out as they were. Especially considering the storms lately, it was a miracle, really.
When you look down the length of the pier, your eyes soften at the tall figure standing against the railing, looking out at the water and the reeds that surround it.

You steadily walk across the pier, dodging its crumbled through holes until you near Rafe.
He notices you approaching him fast but he only turns away from you, wiping at his eyes.
"Rafe?" You ask softly, earning a small sniffle in return as he continues to hide his face.
"Hey..." You run a gentle hand down his bicep.
After hearing nothing at all from him, and not even a glance, you put a little bit of force into your touch as you attempt to turn his body to face you in the process but he remains head strong.
He couldn't bear to face you just yet.
You remove your hand from his arm, choosing to wrap it around his waist instead.
Your arms slide around his sides until they meet his abdomen, your fingers grasp at the front of his shirt, telling him in secrecy that you wanted nothing but him, there, right now; and he felt it in your hold that you mean it genuinely.
Your chest presses against his back as your face does the same and it pulled at a few certain strings in his heart, enough to cause him to turn around at last, returning the embrace and just as tightly, if not, even tighter.

His head rests against yours, breathing against your ear as his arms fit perfectly within the curve of your back. His presence felt so soothing that you felt okay with the silence.
"I didn't mean it."
Your heart thumps for more of his voice, so grumbly in your ear as he speaks so softly, no matter the storm raging in his body. He put it all aside for you.
"Hm?" You hum, curiously.
"What I said back there, it probably sounded like I didn't want you around...but I really do. Y/N, I really do..." His arms tighten around you, yearning for more as if the closest he could be to you wasn't close enough, his strength was almost enough to lift you off the ground entirely if it wasn't for your arms around him too.
"I want you too, Rafe." You say, "Nothing will ever change that."
You feel his cheeks press up into a smile, making you smile as well until he clears his throat, forcing it back down within himself and not allowing him the happiness he obviously deserved.
You pull away, he was hesitant to let go but he does anyways, looking into your eyes as you looked into his. Savouring the moment, you very slowly move in towards him, teasing him with a soft graze against his lips as he complacently waits for you to kiss him entirely; like a loyal dog waiting for orders.
His breath on your own lips teased at you too, unable to keep yourself from him anymore so finally, you press up against him, pressing your lips on his. He instantly returns it, even stronger than you anticipated as his hands on your waist pull you in harder now.

You were enjoying every second of it until what felt like a small rock bounces off your back.
"Great to see you guys making up, but don't go violating my pier with your love making!" John B shouts from the grass.
"You're abusing my eyes, brother!" Sarah shouts too.