Bright Lights [M.YG x Reader]

Chapter 33

- potentially triggering. read with caution -

"This could be the end of everything."

I had to reminisce in a time like this. About strength through hardship. Determination to succeed. Love.

I had believed I was destined to pursue this dream of mine, and I have. But are all the contracts really worth being immortalised? And what does that truely mean?

Is being immortalised the essence of being remembered or is it your remaining impact in the world? Is it having music always avaliable for the remaining years to come or is it kids doing research papers about you in school?

Is something so uncertain really worth selling your life away? Just to be a name? Just to be somebody in this world? Who really needs to be somebody anyways. When will it be enough for humanity? Myself included. Greed for more. Wanting something that you don't need or shouldn't have. I don't deserve what I have because I don't need it.

While speeding down the highway, these were the thoughts going through my mind. Do I need any of this fame or is it just a want? I know what I need. What any human really needs is love. You don't need fancy cars or huge houses. You don't need social media or influencers. You just need love. It's always there, but wether or not it is noticed is another thing.

I know what I have, but now it's out in the open. I had to get away from the staff at BigHit. The constant barrage of questions and attempts at soothing words. The truth was that I would not know what happens next. Not only for me- but Yoongi. A contract is a contract.

However Yoongi will probably get a slap on the wrist. He has been in the industry for too long now and makes trillions of dollars for not only the company but the country. But me? I am still considered a debutant.

The tears were now continuously flowing down my cheeks. I felt extremely hopeless. How could I ever come back from this? The answer I probably already knew but at that moment I just wanted to avoid it all. Out of everything I've experienced as a child it was nothing compared to the heart break I had now.

And after going through the trial with my father, over my mothers will that he had somehow weaseled himself onto, it was agreed that everything that was to be left to him was to be donated to the orphanage that Ji-ho had to stay in for that short, but painfully unnecessary amount of time. He was given time for fraud and for the alteration of legal documents.

Of course I should be greatful that he was to serve time and didn't get what he wanted. To see him be punished was all I ever wanted in life. But that made me feel empty after wards.

I accelerated.

The empty feeling inside me grew worse as the time from seeing Yoongi continued. If there was a pause button I would hit it. Just to allow me a few moments to regain myself, to re-imagine myself to be the perfect human for everyone. A guardian to Ji-Ho, an artist for BigHit, a friend for the boys,

Would I now continue to say a lover for Yoongi?

Or was that to be crushed as well.

The bends in the road became tighter with every turn.

My subconscious began to fade out of existence as the unforgiving feeling of dread began to flow over me as I let go of the steering wheel. The car was directing itself now, only using the bumps in the road to guide its way. It was a long stretch of empty road, but that didn't mean I was paying attention.

I tilted my head back as the harsh wind ran over my face, I felt every bone in my body ache as the car began to slightly veer to the left.

Why can't my body move?

I was met with such distaste at that moment that I didn't even care what was about to happen. I didn't care how fast the car was going. I didn't care about me.

Ji-ho....

Yoongi...

My piercing, painful, screams unfroze my body as I slammed on the breaks. There was a loud screeching from the tires as I slid across the now smooth road. The car rotated and ended up in the ditch. All in one piece.

I was all in one piece.

Why.

I began to violently smash my hands against the steering wheel as the airbags deployed, apparently they were delayed. My fist made contact and slammed straight back up into the bridge of my nose. I choked on the force and felt tingles across my face, trailing down to my neck and beyond. 

I was too weak to keep my eyes open now.

I let them close. Not for the last time, but who knows. Maybe it would be best if I did not wake up. After all....

It's not like anything is normal now.