The Red Knight - Merlin BBC [2]

Chapter 32: Pain

My hand remains outstretched toward the ledge; my mouth still gapes open from my scream. A tear slides from my eye over the bridge of my nose and then along my cheek to the floor. It is followed by another, and then another, until a sea of tears flood my face. I feel the heaving sobs rise in my throat, but my eyes do not leave the ledge.

Every moment, every childhood memory flashes before my eyes. I see Jackson, his hair flapping in the wind as he laughs, his signature devilish grin rooted on his lips. I feel his embrace, hugs from when I was happy and the protective embrace from when I was sad. I think of how he loved to sleep with his arms tangled above his head whilst he lay on his stomach, drool leaving his lips. I think of his promises, promises of a better world, a better future for just the two of us...

A future we never had. One we will never have. One that was taken from us so long ago is now snuffed out like a light in one swift movement.

I hear the wooden doors creak open hurriedly–the boom of voices entering the room. But I don't move, and I remain, arm outstretched, eyes watering with my bloodied side clenched in my other hand.

"Edythe!" Leon's voice surrounds me, his face appearing above me as he forces my head away from the ledge to look up at him.

Leon barely begins to assess my wounds before Arthur's face appears above me also. Relief washes over me seeing my family safe, more tears falling from the relief that they are here with me now, not behind bars or in an arena. The pain rushes over me with relief, coursing me to groan and sob in pain and sadness.

I know the wound is fatal and that I may not have long to live, but that somehow gives me some moment of solace from the pain. Arthur and Leon share a concerned glance as they both see the severity of the wound.

I can hear the movements of the knights as they assess the area. I hear Elyan shriek, "Oh god! Ronon...is he?"

"Dead", Merlin confirms, no doubt the few looking over the edge of the ledge to see the bodies on the ground.

"Is that...Jackson?" Percival questions.

"Merlin, what happened?" Gwaine's voice demands from across the room.

"I-I", Merlin stutters.

"How did you disarm Ronon?" Elyan also pushes.

"Well-we-um."

"Come on, Merlin! Spit it out!" Arthur yells, hand now cradling my neck as Leon continues fussing over my wound.

"I d-did it", I sniffle, gritting my teeth in pain. "I u-used magic."

"Edythe-" Merlin begins to protest.

"I DID IT", I whine out as Leon applies pressure to the wound. "I used magic to disarm him and then-and then Jackson...." The tears sting my eyes. "He s-sacrificed himself f-for us. H-he tackled Ronon s-straight over the cliff!"

I know that I'm dying. There is no use in Merlin revealing his magic and risking possible death when he could continue protecting Arthur as though nothing happened. I have nothing to fear and nothing to worry about as I am not long for this world. The dagger undoubtedly severed something important being so near my spine, and with the poison to my magic, it will only be a matter of time before it seeps in and destroys me.

"Edythe..." Arthur begins, breathless.

"I did it to save you all", I sob. "I-I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologise for, Edythe," Leon reassures, gesturing for someone to hand him a rag or cloth. Gwaine appears behind Leon in my line of sight, part of his undershirt already ripped from his side to give it to Leon. I close my eyes tight, tears stinging as he places the cloth on my wound.

"We would do the same for you", Percival agrees, also appearing in my line of view, along with Elyan and Merlin.

"You had no choice," Gwaine offers, rushing to my side to grasp my hand.

"You lot were always too accepting," I choke on the air, a numbness sweeping over my body.

Merlin pushes his way between Gwaine and Leon, taking over from Leon to assess and bandage the wound, but I know it is no use. There is no point in trying, and frankly, I'm not sure I would like to try. I have caused so much trouble by merely existing. Perhaps Camelot and Arthur will be better off without me. And even if I did, I dare not think about what this wound has done to my body and soul.

This way, I may join Jackson, perhaps my parents, and finally, meet them in the afterlife. Kohl... Maybe I will see everyone I ever cared about there...or perhaps I'll go to hell, where I will meet all my demons of my past. I would deserve it.

"We need to get out of here before the fighting is over", Arthur instructs, placing firm hands under my shoulders in pursuit to move me.

"No, we can't move her," Merlin sternly disagrees, a bloodied hand reaching to stop Arthur.

"Leave me", I whisper, feeling weaker by the second, black spots taking my vision. "T-the dagger Ronon stabbed me with...it's designed to a-attack magic. A-and the tip broke off. It's still inside the wound...I'm not long for this world. Please, save yourselves."

"No. That's not an option," Arthur stubbornly argues.

"Tell me what to do", Merlin demands. "Tell me what to do, and I'll do it."

"No", I hiss, grabbing onto Merlin's wrist, refusing for the warlock to use his magic.

As if understanding, Merlin shakes his head. "Herbs, medicines. Medical tools, Edythe. Tell me what to do, and I'll do the best I can."

Understanding that he means to help me the right way, I still shake my head, but I can feel life leaving me quickly, my head becoming groggy. I could tell him how to do it before losing all sense of who and where I am. And it doesn't look like they're going to leave me. I wouldn't expect them to, but I wish they would.

Knowing this, it'd be best to let them help me. Otherwise, they won't leave. And we won't get out of here faster.

"Okay. Okay," I gasp. "Listen, Merlin, really listen cause I'm only going to be able to say this once. Once you get past the first step, I'm not going to be conscious of the following steps."

Merlin nods, listening intently. "Okay, tell me."

"You're going to need to dig that piece of the blade out of me. God knows I'm going to pass out," I breathe, already hating what I will have to endure, wondering if dying might be easier. "Then. I need you to set a blade on a fire, let it get shearing hot, like hellfire hot and press it against the wound."

"Is that going to work?" Merlin argues. "What if you have worse internal bleeding than we know about?"

"Can't do anything about it here on this floor with no real utensils, Merlin. This is the best chance."

Merlin nods. "I'm pretty sure I know what to do after that."

"You sure? Cause I'm not going to be awake for this."

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Okay then", I breathe out. "There are two more things."

"Yes?"

"You're going to need two of you to hold me down."

"Okay, and the other thing?"

"I need a hand to hold."