Beatle & The Beast

Be Our Guest

Some time later, Paul quietly opens the door and exits his room. He moves past Alfred, who has his back turned towards him. The sound of Paul's footsteps gets Alfred's attention. "Goodness gracious, he has emerged!" He said in shock.

Meanwhile

"Alright, Dick, into the cupboard." Said Harriet. Dick yawns. "But I'm not sleepy." He said. "Yes you are." Harriet said. "No I'm not." Said Dick as he tried to deny how tired he really is.

"I work and I slave all day, and for what? A culinary masterpiece gone to waste." Said a talking stove. "Oh, stop your grousing. It's been a long night for all of us." Said Harriet. "Well, if you ask me, he was just being stubborn. After all, Emilia did say please." Said Bruce. "But if Emilia doesn't learn to control that temper, she'll never break the..." Harriet pauses as Paul enters the room.

"Splendid to see you out and about, good sir! I'm Bruce Wayne, the head of the household." Bruce said. Alfred catches up a minute later. "This is my butler, Alfred Pennyworth." Said Bruce. "Pleasure to meet you, sir." Said Alfred. "Is there anything we can do to make your stay more comfortable?" Bruce asked. "I am a little hungry." Said Paul as he finally admitted how he really felt. "You are? Hear that? He's hungry. Stoke the fire, break out the silver, wake the China." Harriet said.

"Um, I seem to recall Emilia saying that he can't eat at all after if he doesn't eat with her." Said Bruce in a firm but polite tone. "Oh, pish posh! I'm not going to let the poor dear go hungry." Said Harriet. "Good point. What kind of host would I be if I let him starve?" Bruce asked. "That's right, Master Bruce! He's not a prisoner, he's our guest. We must make him feel welcome here." Alfred said. "Thank you so much!" Paul said with a smile. "Right this way, my dear boy." Said Alfred. "Just make sure Emilia doesn't hear this." Said Bruce. "Of course, of course. But what is dinner without a little music?" Alfred asked.

Paul follows Alfred to the dining room, and not only does Paul get a good meal, he gets a stellar performance from all the household objects.

Alfred: Good evening, my good man, it is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight.
And now we invite you to relax, let us pull up a
chair as the dining room proudly presents... your dinner!

Be our guest! Be our guest!
Put our service to the test
Tie your napkin 'round your neck, good sir
And we'll provide the rest

Soup du jour
Hot hors d'oeuvres
Why, we only live to serve
Try the grey stuff
It's delicious
Don't believe me? Ask the dishes

They can sing, they can dance
After all, sir, this is Gotham
And a dinner here is never second best

Go on, unfold your menu
Take a glance and then you'll
Be our guest
Oui, our guest
Be our guest!

Beef ragout
Cheese souffle
Pie and pudding "en flambe"
We'll prepare and serve with flair
A culinary cabaret!

You're alone
And you're scared
But the banquet's all prepared
No one's gloomy or complaining
While the flatware's entertaining
We tell jokes! I do tricks
With my fellow candlesticks

Ensemble: And it's all in perfect taste
That you can bet

Alfred: Come on and lift your glass
You've won your own free pass
To be out guest

If you're stressed
It's fine dining we suggest
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Be our guest!

Life is so unnerving
For a butler who's not serving
He's not whole without a soul to wait upon
Ah, those good old days when we were useful...
Suddenly those good old days are gone

Ten years we've been rusting
Needing so much more than dusting
Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills!
Most days we just lay around the manor
Flabby, fat and lazy
You walked in and oops-a-daisy!

Harriet: It's a guest! It's a guest!
Sakes alive, well I'll be blessed!
Wine's been poured and thank the Lord
I've had the napkins freshly pressed

With dessert, he'll want tea
And my dear that's fine with me
While the cups do their soft-shoein'
I'll be bubbling, I'll be brewing

I'll get warm, piping hot
Heaven's sakes! Is that a spot?
Clean it up! We want the company impressed
We've got a lot to do
Is it one lump or two?
For you, our guest!

Ensemble: He's our guest!

Harriet: He's our guest!

Ensemble: He's our guest!
Be our guest! Be our guest!
Our command is your request
It's been years since we've had anybody here
And we're obsessed

With your meal, with your ease
Yes, indeed, we aim to please
While the candlelight's still glowing
Let us help you, We'll keep going

Ensemble: Course by course, one by one
'Til you shout, "Enough! I'm done!"

Ensemble: Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest
Tonight you'll prop your feet up
But for now, let's eat up
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Be our guest!

Please, be our guest!