Beatle & The Beast

Human Again

All the objects gathered in the main hall to prepare for Paul and Emilia's romantic night.

"Right then! You all know why we're here. We have exactly 12 hours, 36 minutes, and 15 seconds to create the most magical, spontaneous, romantic atmosphere known to man or beast." Said Bruce. He clears his throat after a minute. "Need I remind you that if the last petal falls from this rose, the spell will never be broken! Very well. You all know your assignments. Half of you to the West Wing, half of you to the East Wing, the rest of you, come with me." He continues. All the objects obeyed where they're supposed to go, as the others stayed with Bruce.

Alfred: Hoho, lighten up, Master Bruce, and let nature take its course.

Harriet: It's obvious there's a spark between them.

Bruce: Yes, I know. But there's no harm in fanning the flames. You know, a little. Besides, they must fall in love tonight if we ever expect to be human again.

Alfred: Ah, human again!

Harriet: Human again!

Alfred: Yes, think what that means.

I'll be cooking again
Be good-looking again
With a beautiful girl on each arm

When I'm human again
Only human again
Poised and polished and gleaming with charm

I'll be courting again
Chic and sporting again

Harriet: Which should cause several husbands alarm

Alfred: I'll hop down off this shelf
And tout de suite be myself

Both: I can't wait to be human again

Ensemble: When we're human again
Only human again
When we're knickknacks and whatnots no more

When we're human again
Good and human again

Dick: Yeah baby, I can go through my drawers
I'll again be so tall
And I won't be so small
Why, I'll properly open the doors

I'll exude savoir-faire
I'll wear suits, I'll have hair
It's my prayer to be human again

Harriet & Bruce: When we're human again
Only human again
When the world once more starts making sense

Bruce: I'll unwind, for a change

Alfred: Really? That'd be strange

Bruce: Can I help it if I'm feeling tense?
In a shack by the sea
I'll sit back sipping tea
Let my early retirement commence

Far from those made of wax
I'll get down to brass tacks and relax

Ensemble: When I'm human again

So sweep the dust from the floor
Let's let some light in the room
I can feel, I can tell
Someone might break the spell
Any day now

Shine up the brass on the door
Alert the dust pail and broom
If it all goes as planned
Our time may be at hand
Any day now

Open the shutters
And let in some air

Harriet: Put these here, and put those over there

Ensemble: Sweep up the years
The sadness and tears
And throw them away

We'll be human again
Only human again
When the boy finally sets us all free

Cheeks a-blooming again
We're assuming again
We'll resume our long-lost joie de vivre

We'll be playing again
Holidaying again
And we're praying it's ASAP

We will push
We will shove
They will both fall in love
And we'll finally be human again

Meanwhile

Paul had just reached the end of the story he was reading to Emilia.

Paul: For never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo.

Emilia: Could you read it again?

Paul: Here, why don't you read it to me?

Emilia: Um, alright... I can't.

Paul: You mean, you never learned?

Emilia: I learned... a little. It's just been so long.

Paul: Here, I'll help you. Let's start... here.

Emilia: Twoe?

Paul: Two.

Emilia: Two, I knew that.

As Emilia continues reading, let's transition back to what the household objects are doing...

We'll be dancing again
We'll be twirling again
We'll be whirling around with such ease

When we're human again
Only human again
We'll go waltzing those old one-two-threes

We'll be floating again
We'll be gliding again
Stepping, striding, as fine as you please

Like a real human does
I'll be all that I was
On that glorious morn
When we're finally reborn
And we're all human again!