After all that's happened

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A recap on this because it's been a while I just decided to get back at writing this secretly so people can hate me so more......
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After my mom picked me up we went to chik fil a to get chicken sandwiches and nuggets with fries and sauces to go with it and our drink my mom got lemonade and I got a Diet Coke, we couldn't got back home just yet because there was a wreck on the road about three miles ahead from the airport so we head back to our hotel room and we sit eat and watch TV, "let watch the news, I'm sure there will be something on there about the wreck that just happened," Breaking news: downtown LA there's a huge wreck that happens in the middle of the road thousands of family and friends injured or dead as we got father down the road we see a car that has hit a tree and is in terrible shape.- "Oh my gosh!!! That's Milo's car is he okay!!! Oh no Pearce what have you done!!" Twenty year old superstar Milo Manheim about six foot three injured terribly has wreck head first in his car we call out to any of his family members to tell you he'll be fine but he has lost lots of his memory of what happened before he drove out here or who he is or who anyone he knew is. I'm Henry Rowland this has been 21news.
"Oh no... what have I done!?"
To be continued

About two year after the accident.... (Y'all judging but I had writers block for a long period of time now I have unwanted ideas in my head)

Pearce POV:
Me and Milo broke up I guess, because every since that I accident had I haven't talk to him over a year he's probably didn't know about the accident either because I told no one to tell him but then again duhhh he saw it on the news but he hasn't call or messaged me in a while he probably hates me with all his being and I understand that because I hate myself too. New one Pearce getting angry at him in his own house cutting yourself and refusing to get help with it!!!! Dayyyum why you gotta be so dumb I wish you were better and maybe he would love you and want you back in his life but he probably wants nothing to do with you, He probably moved out of town thousands of miles away from me and is never coming back because he don't want to.

I can't blame him for what I did to him that was pretty selfish of me but how could I ignore my feelings deep inside, no one could comprehend how I felt. But I have to try and understand how he truly feels about what I did also because I know I worried him, "Hey Pearce, I'm going out shopping for some grocery we barely have any snackables or quick dinners in the fridge. So if you're hungry I'm sorry sweetie you'll have to 'Uber Eats' it , and if you need to borrow some cash. Here's some." My mom hands me the money and runs out the door. About twenty minutes later, I'm stuck reading a magazine or book which are both so boring I need some spice in my life my penis hasn't seen action in a while, it's so limp and need some rising so I sneak and search through my parents' stash for some WTW action or MTM action and nothing but some old catalogs. So I hide to my Mac book Pro 🖥 make sure my doors are locked this time and I wouldn't have another awkward conversation with my mom on why I was watching porn in the open like I didn't have anyone else I'll have to look out for. So I have like one or two options I could search the hub up I've been there more than twice this month I've seen almost all the gay and lesbian porns more I need, I hesitate for a bit until final I gave in and just type pornhub.com I go to the search bar and type in the letter f for some odd reason and got a dozen results for 'furry pornography' wow there's a lot of freaks here I see then I give in because at this point I'm not even horny anymore but a bit discussed with my search results and hopefully my search history. So I go through and just delete all of that says, 'furry' on it it's not worth all my ego that I have left
'Okay since there's no porn I want to watch or jerk off to right now, I would rather take a nap than stay up and just suffer the horny and uncomfortable feeling I have.' I thought then I finally decided to get up out my computer chair and head to my bed to lay down and close my eyes for a bit it's been a long day and I can't bare to be up any longer than I have to. As I slowly fall asleep I can't help but look at the old scratch the cut left again it's so deep that there's no way it'll go away it'll be there all my life I just made a permanent scar no can even heal physically and emotionally, I can't help but think of him they he made me happy, his smile, his beautiful shiny and smooth skin it makes me wanna cry. I hurt him so bad the way I act towards him we aren't together anymore but I can't help but fantasize of his loving and ambition,

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