Isabella Agosti [Slow Updates]

T W E N T Y - S I X

"Well a-actually, Angelo said-"

"I don't give a fuck what Angelo said! If I said it's my turn to pick, then it's my fucking turn." Romeo shouted at me, shoving his hands up in the air when talking about our older brother.

I ever so slightly cowered away from him, the coffee table hitting my leg from behind. "S-Sorry," I whisper. I try not to look at him but his angered face isn't very easy to ignore.

He didn't say anything else as he huffed and decided on his choice of movie. The rest of the male residences of this household joined us at last after a short while and we started watching Jaws.

"Isabella Francesca Agosti! Why have you put this film on?!" Angelo pretty much screeched at me after realising the movie we were watching. And good lord, he used my full name. Should I be scared?

Well, I'm scared.

I glanced at the brother to blame and I hate to say that my brothers are very observant. "Rome!" Literally everyone groaned in annoyance yet it sounded like they were used to his behaviour. I felt bad for making him take the blame but he did choose the movie after all.

"Sorry," I blushed in embarrasment and sank futher into the couch.

"It's Rome's fault, don't you worry, bambina." Angelo reassured as he sat by me and rubbed my arm. "It's just I don't want you getting bad dreams since this is technically a horror."

"She's not a toddler, Ange." Romeo sighed. My other brothers glared at him a bit. "She can take a bit of horror, it's not that scary."

"She's my baby so I think I get to decided what she watches and doesn't, thank you very much, Romeo. You may turn this off and put on a Disney film or something like that." He continues to cuddle me and I don't mind the affection. It's been some time since I could bask in it for free.

Five minutes we were watching Beauty and the Beast. It was my favourite to watch with mom on our movie nights and we'd have popcorn too.

"Do you have any p-popcorn?" I whispered to my eldest brother and he leaned down to listen to me better.

"What was that, Bella?" He whispered back as the others intently listened to the screen.

"Er, popcorn?" He smiled knowingly and nodded.

"Sure, baby." I cringed at the nickname but didn't say anything about it as he silently got the food.

The rest of my brothers look suprisingly content with the movie choice. It was funny that they did but I didn't laugh.

"Here you are, Bella." I said a thank you to him and he handed some more out to the others. He sat back down and wrapped an arm around my shoudlers, pulling me closer to him. I was alright with the feeling of his body against mine.

He grabbed a handful of the food in the bowl I held and stuffed some in his mouth. I asume he sensed me looking up at him because he looked down at me and smiled in adoration.

I don't know why he'd look at me like that though. I'm not one to be loved after everything I've been through; I'm ugly inside and out.

I pushed those thoughts aside and ate my popcorn peacefully for the rest of the night until Angelo suggested I got some sleep.

-

It's one in the morning and I had just woken up from an all too familiar nightmare. Images of my blood splattering the floor and glass bottles littering it as well just made me sick.

I kept thinking and thinking about it that I ended up puking out the contents of my stomach. It felt so real, the nightmare, and I couldn't contain the ick feeling I felt.

And now I'm sitting with my legs crossed on my bed, staring at the door infront of me. No light shone through any gaps and the shadows on the wall danced dimly yet there where no trees outside my window. No wind was present tonight and no out of the ordinary weather dominated the sky.

I decided to ignore that fact and continue with my thoughtless blinking. There were no sounds around the house, no howling of wild animals and only the heavy breathing coming from me was what kept me awake.

I was numb and I didn't know whether I liked it or not. I didn't know whether I liked not feeling the emotional and mental pain of my trauma. I don't know if I want to feel that pain to keep me feeling alive, to reassure myself I'm no longer there.

I was a confuzzled.

Is that even a word?

Oh shut it, you know it is.

For who? You?

Yes.

I feel like I've trusted them too quickly, but that's probably because I haven't had anyone to trust since mama- well since mama. I just think that there could be an alternative motive that they all have yet I find their kindness too strong and continuness for it to be fake.

I'd feel bad if they thought I trusted them and did something that made them feel otherwise, as if I had led them on. But at the same time, I have to protect myself first.

Maybe you shouldn't be so selfish, huh?

No, I'm well within my right to think like this, right?

Hmm...

I sigh, knowing I shouldn't argue with myself. This new environment is overwhelming in itself, let alone the the men who live with me here and their very different personalities.

I wrap up my little conversation with Betty, deciding I've put off sleep for long enough. Although sleep doesn't come as easily as it should, I wake up the next morning to barking; knowing I got at least a few hours of rest.

-

Double update today because I've put off updating for a lil bit, by accident. I've just been really tired this week and haven't got much done for this chapter but when the short moments of inspiration come along, I jump straight at the chance to type something up for you guys.

1039 words

;))