King of Hearts (gxg)

11. Slow Things ♔︎

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| King of Hearts |
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By: Janae Destiny

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Kiara and Cameron went back to Luna's house to eat because they ended up getting her food anyway, even though she said she didn't want anything. And just like Kiara expected, she still ate it. And after they ate, they chilled with Luna for a little bit before getting ready to leave out again.

"You been spending a lot of time with Monique," Luna said as she put their leftover food away in the fridge after they'd finished eating. It was just the two of them left in the kitchen because Cameron had gone to take a shower.

"She's my friend-"

"I'm your sister, you don't have to lie to me, Kiara. I know you like her."

"So what if I might like her?" Kiara immediately got defensive.

"Sis, calm down. Did I say anything was wrong with liking her? It's just that you haven't liked a girl in a long time, so I'm shocked you're taking an interest in Monique all of a sudden."

"Honestly? It feels weird," Kiara muttered. "I don't remember the last time I felt like this about a girl. And I don't even know her like that, so I don't know what it is about her."

"She's really pretty," Luna shrugged. "Maybe it's just a physical attraction."

"There's a million pretty girls in this fuck ass city. I don't think that's what it is. It's not just physical."

"You think you're ready for that though? It's been a minute since you last been with somebody."

"I don't know if I'm ready," Kiara admitted. "I been by myself for so long that I don't even remember what relationship me is like. And then Monie is... I just don't think either of us is ready for nothing like that right now."

"Who said it had to be right now? No one's telling you to rush into shit with her."

"I'm scared..." Kiara whispered. "I'm scared to start anything with anyone, let alone Monie."

"Babe," Luna reached across the counter and held onto her sister's hand. "I know you're scared. But trust me, not everyone is going to do you how Nia did you. You have to allow yourself to open up again. Cause how else you gonna experience the good life has to offer if you keep yourself closed off from ever experiencing love again?"

"That's the thing. I don't know if I'm scared to get hurt... or if I'm more scared to hurt her. I broke a lot of girl's hearts those two years, and I still feel terrible about every single one. That's when I started this whole celibacy journey and I'm not sure I'm ready to break that yet."

"Didn't nobody say you have to go and fuck the girl. Just be honest with her, that's it. Be real about your situation, and if she likes you back, she'll respect that. Plus, it'll give y'all more time to get to know each other without all those messy and complicated emotions that stem from sex being involved."

"Right..." Kiara hummed.

Although, she wasn't sure it was that simple. Sex is a lot more powerful than people might realize and it does in fact complicate things, even if people like to claim it doesn't. But the thing is, Kiara does want Monie in that way. She just isn't sure she's ready for the emotional investment that goes along with it- the same thing she's been trying hard to avoid these last 5-7 years.

"Okay, I'm ready," Cameron walked back into the kitchen just a few seconds after their conversation had ended.

"You sure you don't wanna come, Luna?" Kiara asked her one more time because Monie had extended the invite to her as well.