King of Hearts (gxg)

20. Opening Up ♔︎

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| King of Hearts |
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By: Janae Destiny

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When the five of them got back from lunch, everyone was so tired that they all ended up taking naps anywhere they felt was the most comfortable. Ava ended up asleep cuddled up next to Kiara on the couch. Marco was on the floor in the living room. Cameron ended up asleep on the loveseat. And Monie, she was the only one who actually made it to her bed.

Marco was the first one to wake up from the nap and he had slept so long that the sun was at the beginning stages of setting. And even though they have a breathtaking view from the floor-to-ceiling windows in the condo, he felt like he wanted to be just a little bit closer. He slid the glass door open enough to let a cool breeze into the living room and went out onto the balcony. He sat down on one of the white chairs and just stared out at the sunset before him.

And for what felt like the first time since they'd reached Miami, and maybe the first time in much longer than that, he felt completely at peace. Because much like Monie, Marco is always on edge too. His brain is always running a million miles an hour and never stops. He feels pressured to do his best and be his best at all times to the point where he puts a lot of pressure on himself. And the pressure doesn't come from Monie, because she will love and support him no matter what, the pressure comes from himself. It's internalized.

He strives to be the best so he can one day take care of his sisters so everything won't always be on Monie.

He pushes himself in basketball because he knows he has the potential to make it to the league one day. He pushes himself in school so he'll have a good career to fall back on if the whole athletic thing doesn't end up working out in his favor. He pushes himself at home when it comes to helping Monie take care of Ava and keeping up with the house.

But sitting out there on the balcony, looking out at the sunset on the edge of the ocean, he felt like he could finally take a much-needed deep breath. He felt like he could finally take a step back from everything and just exist and enjoy the good life still has to offer no matter the struggles and hardships they've been through. Because never in a million years did he think he'd be living in a luxury Miami Beach condo owned by the daughter of his favorite NBA Allstar.

"I miss you guys," Marco whispered into the beautiful pink and purple hue of the sky. He whispered it into the rolling waves of the ocean and into the sand lightly blowing across the beach from the light summer breeze.

"Every single day I miss y'all so fucking much. There's this saying I've heard that says, If I die, don't cry. Just look up at the sky and say goodbye. I... don't think I'll ever be ready to say goodbye. Saying goodbye feels like letting go and that scares me. At least when I feel the pain of it all, I remember. I remember the warm hugs and the way you guys smiled. I remember the smell of your favorite cologne and perfume. I remember the car rides and singing along to loud music. I'm scared that if I say goodbye, I'll forget. If I say goodbye, I'm scared the memories will fade into nothingness..."

Marco didn't even realize he started crying until he heard a voice call from behind him. "Hey, bro. Are you okay?"

"Fuck," Marco muttered as he quickly wiped at his eyes even though Cameron had already seen that he was crying. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"You sure? I didn't mean to disturb you, I just saw the door open and—" he backed up until he reached the sliding door again.

"You're good. You can stay if you want."

"I love watching the sunset," Cameron said, changing the subject away from the fact that Marco was just out there crying. "It's so calming. It makes me think and reflect on a lot going on in my life."