King of Hearts (gxg)

15. Safe & Secure ♔︎

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| King of Hearts |
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By: Janae Destiny

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They didn't talk much during the drive. Music was quietly playing in Monie's car, occupying the silence between them. Kiara had about a million questions she wanted to ask at that moment. There was so much more she wanted to know about Monie and her story, but of course, she didn't push her to talk about anything she wasn't yet comfortable with.

"Does your head feel any better?" Kiara asked after a few minutes of neither of them saying anything.

"A little bit," Monie whispered. "I think I'm just tired because I ain't really been sleeping. I just feel kinda... burnt out."

"Is there anything I can do to help you?"

"I wanna say yes, I really do. But I don't think so. I don't think there's anything anyone can do. I just need to get home to my brother," she bit down on her thumb's long acrylic nail. "I just needa see Marco."

"You worried about him?"

"I'm always worried about him."

"He's a good kid though."

"He's an amazing kid. But he only has three years left of high school. He can get an athletic scholarship if he pushes himself enough. He has the potential to be something amazing. That's why I'm forced to always act like I've got my shit together. Marco and Ava need me to take care of them. I'm all they have, and I'm just tryna set them up as best as I can so they ain't gotta struggle the same way I have."

'And who has been there to take care of Monique this whole time...?'

Kiara wanted to ask her that question so bad but figured they'd gotten deep enough for the night without reminding Monie just how alone she's truly been while navigating both parenthood and young adulthood.

"But what about-" Kiara started but didn't finish.

"What about Ava's father? Is that what you're tryna ask me?"

"You don't have to answer that. It's none of my business."

"We're not together anymore. Obviously," Monie answered anyway. "He was never really around much in the first place. He was always more worried about controlling me than actually taking care of his daughter. I got sick of his shit, and now here I am. He's a big part of the reason I moved here. That, and... I don't know. It's just not a lot of good memories associated with Chicago. I needed a fresh start."

"Well I think you're in the perfect place for that. There's no better place to start over than Miami. People come here to reinvent themselves all the time."

"I'm not really trying to reinvent myself. I'm just trying to find myself. I'm tryna figure out who the fuck Monique Heart is. Cause the person I was in Chicago wasn't the real me. Honestly, I'm not sure who the real me is."

"It's okay to not have everything figured out, Monie. You're only 22, you've got plenty of time."

"I feel like that's true. But it felt like I was 18 and graduating high school just yesterday. Now I'm a 22 year old single mother with absolutely no direction in life."

"That's not true. You said you wanted to go back to school. You want to be a nurse practitioner. That's a direction. That's a plan."

"Yeah," Monie laughed. "A plan is usually followed by actions. And I'm just not sure being an NP is very practical for my life right now. There's a reason I stopped going to school. It was too expensive, and then tryna juggle school and two kids became too much for me to handle."