Perseverance (Wangxian)

Chapter 7 - Not His

A freezing sting of a sensation pierced Wei Ying's skin. The cold was making his entire body go numb. If it weren't for the spiritual energy that resides in the cold spring, he would not be sitting there in the middle of it meditating. He promised Lan Zhan he would try, so he was. At what point though, did this promise include freezing nearly to death by spiritual water.

Because he wasn't sure when Lan Zhan would return to him after visiting his uncle, he kept his bottoms and under robes on. The two may have confessed to each other but he was not ready to show his body off too much. After all I wasn't "his" body per-say but the body of Mo Xuanyu.

Wei Ying frowned at that thought, that this wasn't his really body. He wondered if Lan Zhan still loved him. He should right? He loves Wei Ying but he fell in love with Wei Ying in his own body. Now he is in another's body, how can he not be insecure about himself.

"Wei Ying?" Lan Zhan called to greet him as he approached him at the spring.

Wei Ying opened his eyes and looked at him, "Hi, Lan Zhan," Wei Ying said shyly.

"How is meditation?" He asked.

"Freezing!" Wei Ying scoffed, "I know I said I would try, but does freezing to death have to be involved?"

"You won't freeze to death," Lan Zhan informed, "the water in the spring may be cold but it is spiritual. It will not make you freeze to death. You have been here for a little over an hour, which is good enough for today. Come."

Wei Ying's face started to feel warm, "ugh, okay," he said and stood up with some hesitation.

"Are you okay?" Lan Zhan asked.

"Yes, why wouldn't I be?" Wei Ying asked in return.

"You just seem you have something on your mind," he said.

"Actually, how did you know it was me? I am in a different body now, surely I do not look the same as Mo Xuanyu for you to recognize me," Wei Ying asked.

He sighed, "why is your memory so bad?" Lan Zhan asked, "I told you before, think for yourself."

Wei Ying nodded and looked down at the ground, "I'm sorry," he said, "I don't mean to have a bad memory, it's just...."

Wangji wanted to know what he was going to say, but Wei Ying just stopped talking, "don't apologize, I'm sure there is a reason your memory is tainted. But it is just what?"

"How can you still love me?" He finally asked.

Lan Zhan looked at him confused, "what do you mean?"

"I am not me, anymore. I am in someone else's body and you say it you love me, but how do I know it isn't the body of Mo Xuanyu or not?" Wei Ying asked still looking down.

He felt ashamed for asking that question. He is just so insecure about himself. He wasn't himself anymore not physically. Even mentally he is not really himself.

"Wei Ying, I fell in love with you for your personality. Yes, your own body was very good looking, but the current body you are in, it has similarities to your old body. I find this body just as attractive. You look good no matter what body you are in," he assured Wei Ying.

"What if I was a three year old child or a seventy-three year old man? Would you still say that?" Wei Ying asked.

Lan Zhan laughed for the very first time in front of Wei Ying. He laughed hard. The question seemed to be a bit ridiculous but he understood his concerns.

"Though I am happy it is not the case, I am sure we would make it work," Lan Zhan said. He was almost flirting and teasing Wei Ying from his question.

Wei Ying shook his head and smiled at the man in front of him, "here I am trying to have a serious heartfelt conversation, but you are joking and teasing," Wei Ying said not even pulling a smile.

"Just trying to lighten up the mood," Lan Zhan said.

"Lan Zhan, I am being serious you know," Wei Ying said as tears formed in his eyes, "you have no idea how insecure I am feeling right now. This isn't me, I am not me, how ca-"

Lan Zhan saw tears fall and couldn't hear him bash himself any longer. He interrupted him with his lips as they crashed against Wei Ying's. It was the only thing he could think of to get him to calm down and stop talking for a moment. Their hearts beat together as one. Lan Zhan brought his hand to the back of Wei Ying's neck.

His fingers touched against Wei Ying's neck, caused chills to run down his body. Wangji's hand went down to his shoulders. His fingertips tickled the skin of Wei Ying's arm as they run down to his hands. That insecurity that Wei Ying had moments again, was forgotten the second Lan Zhan's lips came into contact with his. He felt safe there all of a sudden like he had nothing to worry about in the arms of Lan Wangji.

Lan Zhan began to suddenly trail his lips across the man's cheek then running his lips to the skin of Wei Ying's ear. Lan Zhan let his tongue graze against his lobe before putting it in his mouth to suck on his ear. Wei Ying began to pant and a moan left his mouth from the sudden turn on from Lan Zhan nibbling on his ear.

Soon, Wangji began to slide his lips down to meet the sweet spot of Wei Ying's neck. He arched his head back to give Lan Zhan better access. Wei Ying moved his head to the response of his lovers tongue, gliding across his neck and stopped at his adam's apple. Lan Zhan's warm breath hit the saliva stuck to Wei Ying's skin, causing a chill to creep down his back. Lan Zhan bit down gently before pulling away.

He stares into Wei Ying's silver eyes and smiled at him. His hand grab Wei Ying's left hand and places it over Lan Zhan's chest where his heart sat, and holds it there. He sent Wei Ying love, protection, security, safety, patience, and respect just through the expression in his eyes.

Wei Ying was finally starting to understand. Lan Zhan meant every word he said. He loves Wei Ying for his personality and his body was just a shell for it to reside in. The body he was in was not his, but he now had the right to claim it has his. His body was handsome and with a touch of cuteness.

A smile appeared on Wei Ying's face and nodded to him. He lets go of Lan Zhan's hand and leaned into Wangji's body, reading his head on his chest. Lan Zhan's arms wrap around Wei Ying, in assurance to let know know, he will never let him go. He is there and he will be there for him from then on. That was his promise.