Perseverance (Wangxian)

Chapter 21 - Don't Give Up

Wei Ying woke with his eyes and cheeks covered in dry tears. He didn't know how to cope with what happened to Suibian, but because of that, he has lost all interest to cultivate any more. Laying there being held by Lan Zhan was the only thing that was keeping him from crumbling and falling apart. He was in pain, mentally, but his chest was heavy with hurt. The work he put into cultivating the core in his body, has started to cease to not. It was depleting with only a day of not training and giving up. He, has given up.

"Wei Ying, are you feeling well enough to eat something?" Lan Zhan asked him.

He was trying his best to help Wei Ying as much as possible. He didn't like seeing him in this much despair. He needed to get Wei Ying to try to speak with his sworn brother. It is the only way for the sword to go back to him.

Wei Ying said nothing. He didn't even look at Lan Zhan. He laid there on his side balled up again like he was found in the training grounds. Wei Ying didn't have the energy to look at Lan Zhan or even answer. Yes he was hungry but he refused to eat. He didn't even get out of bed that day.

Lan Zhan sighed, "xiongzhang has a way for Suibian to answer to you again but it also depends on if Jiang Wanyin will cooperate as well," Lan Zhan told him.

He was hoping that telling Wei Ying this it would trigger him to listen yo Lan Zhan for a little bit. Lan Zhan thought it might help motivate Wei Ying to try and keep going.

"What's the point?" Wei Ying asked finally responding, "I know him well enough that he won't. It's useless in trying. I don't want to cultivate again. I tried and look where it got me. I am nothing, Lan Zhan. Suibian doesn't look to me anymore and that's final. It's a sign to say to me that I shouldn't be a cultivator, so I won't be one."

Wei Ying spoke in one even tone of voice the entire explanation. Lan Zhan could feel the pain in the emptiness of his voice. Lan Zhan moved from sitting on the bed to kneeling down beside it so he could be face to face with Wei Ying.

"I know you are hurting, but I know you well enough that you are not someone to give up so easily," Lan Zhan said to him calmly and placed his hand on Wei Ying's face.

He moved some hair away from his face and stared to gently rub his thumb against Wei Ying's cheek.

"You didn't want to give up back then when you fought for the Wens. You didn't want to give up when we fought Xuanwu, and we were both injured and you fell ill with a fever. You still strived after that though. You kept going when stood up to Jin Zixun at Lanling when you were searching for Wen Ning. You are a man that didn't give up, you even didn't give up to bring Wen Ning back. That is the Wei Ying I know. I love you, Wei Ying, as you are now even though you are hurting, but what I love about you most is that you are a man who doesn't give up. You found a way to move forward. I love it most that you are a fighter."

Wei Ying finally managed to look into Lan Zhan's eyes. His words were nice to hear, but he didn't know what to think at the moment.

"How would you feel if Bichen didn't answer to you anymore?" Wei Ying asked calmly, "Would you keep fighting or give up?"

Lan Zhan had to think about that for a moment. He knew Wei Ying was right. Bichen as been with him for a long time. He is his sword and is Wangji's light. If one day Bichen didn't respond to him, he would feel devastated. He would, however, figure out why it was that and try to get him to respond to Wangji again.

"I would be devastated of course but I would find out why it won't respond any longer, and then find a way to get it to respond again. I am like you, Wei Ying, I don't give up. People told me to give up on you when you died, but I didn't. I waited for you for thirteen years to come back and now you are here. If it took thirteen years to get Bichen to answer to me again, I would take it. I wouldn't give up on my sword. There is a reason for everything and an answer isn't far behind. You just have to motivate yourself, and get the right people and resources to help you. I am here, my brother is here, my Shufu is finally learning to accept you and our relationship. He will be there, even if you find that hard to believe. We will help you get your Suibian back. I will help you. So please don't give up, and don't shut me away," Lan Zhan said and pleaded to him.

"Can you hold me?" Wei Ying asked, "I need time. Are you able to respect that response? I need time to know what I really want, Lan Zhan. Right now, you are all I have left. I'd rather lose everything else but you. I need you more than anything right now. That's all I want right now."

Lan Zhan nodded and climbed into the bed with him. Wei Ying managed to climb onto Lan Zhan and bury his face into the crook of Lan Zhan's neck. His arms cling onto Lan Zhan firmly. Lan Zhan held him close and comfortably tight, assuring him that he won't leave him.

"Wei Ying, I will not and I won't ever leave you. I am always here and will always be by your side. I will be your pillow if you need to lay your head down. I will be your comfort if you need to cuddle up to something. I will be your ears so you can talk to your hearts content. I will by your shoulder so you can cry freely. I will be your love, your heart, your everything. I will be whatever you need me to be," Lan Zhan said to him and placed a kiss on the side of his head.

"I love you so much Lan Zhan," Wei Ying said, "I just don't know how to deal with everything right now. I just need you to be there with me. I will get through this I'm sure, but I need time."

"Take all the time you need, but you do need to eat properly and take care of your health in the meantime," Lan Zhan informed him.

"I'll try," Wei Ying whispered.

After laying there for a little why, Wei Ying had fallen back to sleep. Lan Zhan didn't want to move as he was very comfortable at the moment. He was also able to breathe a bit more easily because he managed to talk a little sense into Wei Ying. He knows that he has a lot of work to do to get Wei Ying motivated again. He will do whatever it takes, but he wants to take their time. Lan Zhan does not want to rush Wei Ying into anything. Especially since he is so emotionally hurt. He will take things a day at a time.