"Felix, you have that look again." said Chris, tapping him on his shoulders gently to shake him off from his reverie.
Felix shifted the direction of his vision from a certain someone to his best friend who was looking at him with sadness in his eyes.
"don't look at me like that, Chris. i'm okay." he tried to grin but he knows it was already smeared with pain.
"he just... he looks so beautiful and in love, you know?" his gaze once again landed on the apple of his eyes whose eyes are almost sparkling. "i'm really happy to see him all smiley like that."
"I'm really sorry I couldn't help you with this, Lix. i know he's my brother and I was the one who introduced him to you and-" Chris started rambling guiltily, like it was his fault his brother doesn't like Felix back.
it was almost funny if only the truth wasn't so painful.
he would've laughed about it.
there may be pain and agony clenching on his heart seeing Hyunjin bloom like a flower for someone else, he had loved him for 4 years now after all.
it might've hurt a lot, but he's okay.
he's already contented on the friendship they have.
well, at least that's what he tell himself to avoid emptying his tear ducts at night when he's alone in his room, lying emptily in his bed with only the faint glow of the moon to hug him in his misery with the hope of somehow soothing his hurting heart.
he needs to fake it all until one day he finally believes his own lie. he just needs to fool himself until then.
he's fine... he'll be just fine.
"I'm okay, Chris. I'm really okay. I'll- I'll move on from it, eventually. I just need a little more time." he cut the older off, beaming at him in which he wished was less aching.
"but you've been saying that for about 2 years now and you've loved him since forever!" the older whisper-shouted, frustrated.
"guess it's really just too hard to forget and move on from him then." he chuckled sadly from the truthfulness in his words.
"oh, Felix." his best friend hugged him tight, mourning along with his dead but still bleeding heart.
"I'm really sorry. I hope you find someone that will love you the way you deserve to be loved. you deserve to be the happiest, Lixie."
"what's happening?" a voice cut them off, making their heads tilt only to see Hyunjin's puzzled and worried face.
"nothing!" he shoot up on his feet, standing before Hyunjin. "so tell me, what's up with you lovebirds?" Felix beamed immediately, ignoring the hammering in his chest.
Hyunjin grinned, eyes crinkling as he slings an arm over Felix's shoulders giddily. the previous worry in his eyes, washed away by a love struck one that shoots a flying arrow directly in Felix's chest which he tried his best to chase away.
"you see, my baby said..."
Hyunjin started talking about his lover and Felix shifted his gaze on Chris, discreetly flashing his best friend an assuring smile and a small nod as he let Hyunjin take him away, guiding him in the corner of the room where his friend's partner was sitting prettily.
he swallowed the thick lump on his throat before he greeted his friend's lover with genuine gaiety.
it's okay, Felix. you're okay.
he told himself while he watched as Hyunjin landed a sweet kiss on his partner's forehead.
you'll be just fine.
;
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