Frenemies with benefits(boyxboy)

Mother knows best

Will's POV:

I was curled up on the couch, a fluffy blanket wrapped around me like a shelter. There was a faint sound of running water coming from the kitchen. After calling my mom at the party, I waited 20 humiliating minutes in my car for her to pick me up. She arrived in a taxi. Her hair fell in long blonde curls, and she was wearing leather pants and a trench coat. Her face was covered by huge sunglasses. I shrunk deeper down in the seat. She must be jet lagged. She opened the door and got in, driving away without a word.

I couldn't manage to meet her eyes the whole drive. Instead, I stared out the window. By the time we neared the house my head was banging. I rested my head against the cool window of the car, breathing through my nose. Just breath, I told myself. Imagine the light. I took a deep breath in through my nose, then slowly blew it out, imagining a flickering light in front of me. I imagined doctor Smith's soothing voice. I felt my body relax.

My mom pulled up the driveway, parking in front of the door. I unbuckled my seat belt and hurried out of the car to follow my mom. In my hurry, I forgot how dizzy I was. I stumbled, catching my balance before walking through the door. My mother was already inside, taking off her coat. I closed the door behind me, opening my mouth to finally talk to my mother, when nausea hit me. I ran to the toilet, barfing into the toilet bowl. I could hear the clicks of my mothers heels on the marble floor coming closer and closer. For the first time tonight she talked to me. "Take a shower, you reek of alcohol", she said, her tone was stern, but not angry.

After my shower, she wrapped me in the fluffy blanket. "I made you some tea", she said, handing me a mug of black jasmine tea. I thanked her and took a sip of tea. My eyes watered up, my tongue burning from the hot tea. "Are you sobering up?", she asked me, sitting down in a chair in front of me. She crossed her leg, folding her hands in her lap. She had changed into a purple dress.

I nodded and grabbed the tea, not knowing what else to do with my hands. She studied my face with a worried expression. "Are you okay?", she asked. I shouldn't have bothered her like this. While sobering I wished I just took a taxi home. Now I was stuck in this uncomfortable situation. "I'm fine", my voice cracked on the fine, betraying me. Tears started pooling in my eyes before spilling out, coating my cheeks. "Oh, my boy", my mother sighted, running over to hug me. "My sweet boy, what's wrong?", she murmured, caressing my hair. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I flung my arms around her, sobbing into her chest like a little boy. She just stroked my hair and let me cry.

When I finally calmed down, I wiped my eyes and sniffed. "Can you tell me what's wrong?", she asked. "Maybe I can help." "I", I hiccuped. "I just. I really screwed up. And I don't know what to do, because I want to make things right, but it might be too late", I sniffed. She tucked a hair strand behind my ear. "Could you tell me more? What did you do?", she asked me in a soft voice. "There's this boy that I've liked for a really long time, since middle school. But, I was so afraid of everyone knowing, especially since it was right after we moved, that I was a bit mean to him. But despite that, we kept being in the same clubs and classes, and  I just couldn't stop liking him. But a couple of months ago, we went on this trip together because of school. And we got drunk and hooked up. But I was so afraid of people at school finding out I was gay, so I kinda forced a friends with benefits relationship on him, and tried to hide us from everyone. But I wasn't using him for his body, I know it might seem like that but I swear I wasn't. I think he might have liked me back too, a lot. But I ruined it all by acting ashamed of him. I let my friends bully him and treat him like shit, and I just watched", I told her. "I wanna at least apologize to him, if he ever let's me talk to him again", I hung my head low.

"And after that?", she asked. "What?", I said. "After you apologize, what will you do? Will you openly date him?", she asked. "There's no way he would ever take me back", I muttered. "But let's say he does. Let's say you apologize to him in private, and he accepts it. And he wants you back too, but only if you start treating him right. If you openly date him and support him. Would you", she asked me.

I hugged my legs and avoided her burning gaze. I knew she was disappointed in me. She understood why I had acted the way I had, but she was still disappointed. Not as disappointed as I was, though. I lifted my eyes and stared straight into her eyes. "For him, I would do anything. I'd come out to the entire school, the entire world, whatever, if it means I don't loose him", I said. She lifted a brow. "Your willing to do all that for him? He must be special to you", she said. I nodded. "Where was this attitude when you were on good terms?", she asked. "I... I lived a comfortable life without him, but when people at school, especially my friends, started suspecting I might be gay, I freaked out. I guess the fear really stuck with me at my new school. I thought I could give up Brian, but I've never been more lonely then when I'm without him. I didn't realize of good it felt to be with someone I wasn't afraid of judging me til' I lost him", I sighted.

My mother shook her head."Typical men, don't know how good they have it until they loose it." I clutched the blanket. "I'm sorry", I whimpered. "Don't be. You're still young, you can learn from your mistakes", she cooed. I shook my head. "No, mom, I'm apologizing to you", I said. "If this is about work, don't worry. I hardly take any breaks, and I still have a lot of vacation days", she reassured me. I sniffed. "No, I'm sorry about everything. To you, dad, everything. I'm sorry I made you move, and I'm sorry you had to quit your dream job to take care of me. I'm sorry I'm gay and you don't get to have grandchildren. I know you secretly want them", I cried. 

"Is that really what you think?", my mom asked. She hugged me tightly. "I never knew you felt this way. Listen Will, you are the best son I could ever wish for. Don't worry about me or your father. I would do anything to protect you, over and over again", she stroked my cheek. "Because I'm your mom, and I love you. I might not be the best mom, and I wish I could have been there more for you. But don't you think for a second that I would even hesitate in dropping everything for you", she said and hugged me tight. "I know you and father fought because of me", . I whispered. "Your father is... He's not the most understanding person. But you know I will always choose you over him", she said. "I don't want to be the reason you're divorcing", I sniffed. She patted my head. "We're not divorcing. He just needs some time to process everything, then I'll make sure he acts like a proper father to you. Don't worry about it, just focus on enjoying your youth", she reassured me.

My lips trembled. "I'm gonna come out to everyone at school, but mom. I'm so scared. I don't know if I can handle being bullied again", I said, fear in my voice. All the beatings I took. All the harassment, people throwing food at me. But the worst part was the stares. I felt eyes on me all the time, even when people weren't looking at me. The dread I felt in my stomach before entering the classroom. And the painful loneliness I endured every day. None of the boys wanted to talk to me. If anyone did, people would call them gay too, so everyone avoided me. Like I was a virus. "You're a different person now. But I don't want to see you hurt, so I hope you think this through. Don't do anything rash before you're ready, even if you really like this boy Brian", my mom said.

"Thanks, but I'm not doing this for him. No matter if he forgives me or not, I think I'm gonna come out. I just can't stand trying so hard to hide and fit in, I don't even like myself anymore", I declared. She nodded. "I can't and will never understand what you're going through, but you're a smart boy, no, man. You're gonna be a real adult soon. I trust you know this best. Just don't be afraid to call your mom, you'll always be my little boy in my eyes", she wrapped me in a headlock and ruffled my hair. I giggled. "Don't worry, I will", I promised. "I took a week off from work, I thought we might spend some time together. You're going away to college soon", she mused. "I would like that", I smiled. It really was true that talking to your mom made everyhting clear.

A/N: this was supposed to be on Monday, so I'll post this now and the next Friday:)