Crash & Burn x Jemily

33

February 13th, 11:50 am
After JJ and I talked we decided that she was going to tell the team she got a sperm donor. As much as I tried to convince her they weren't going to judge, she didn't care. I understood how she felt though.

Right now she was downstairs doing the nebulizer and I was in our room, folding laundry. I heard my phone ringing and dug through the pile to find it.

Eventually I managed to answer it, and saw it was a FaceTime from Derek. "Hey! What's up?" I asked him. I could see he was in the bau bullpen.

"We're all worried about JJ. Penelope specifically, but she doesn't want to call because she's scared of you." He said. I could see Tara and Spencer in the background, and I assume Penelope was there but out of sight.

"She's doing okay. I'm not sure when she'll be able to come back though." I sighed. "Can we talk to her?" I heard Penelope's voice in the background. "She's a little busy right now."

"She's always 'busy'." Derek said. "You're right. But this time she's actually busy, and not just avoiding you." I chuckled. "I can go see if she wants to talk though."

I got up and headed downstairs. "Does your new place have stairs?" Derek asked, observing the background. "Yeah. You'll see it soon, when JJ's up for it."

I went into the living room, where JJ was watching tv with the nebulizer. "Hey." I turned the phone around so they could see her. "Derek, Spencer, and Tara are on the phone." The second she realized what I was doing, she buried her face down into a pillow.

I sighed, turning it back to me. I walked into another room so she couldn't hear them anymore. "She's not in the mood right now. Maybe another time."

"What was she doing?" Spencer asked. "Medicine thing. Don't worry about it."

"Is she okay?" Tara asked. "She looked scared"

"She's fine." I said. "Just not in the mood." I heard the very faint sound of what seemed to be JJ crying. "I have to go, sorry." I said. "I'll call you back another time."

"Alright. Bye Emily. Tell JJ we miss her." Derek said. "Bye. We miss you too." I said, hanging up the phone. I went back over to the living room.

I was right, JJ was crying. "I'm sorry sweetie I didn't mean to upset you." I said, sitting down next to her. "You showed me to them!" She said angrily.

"What?" I was confused. "They saw me." She cried.

"It was only about a second. And also JJ they've seen you before." The team was there in the hospital and when we found her.

"I don't want them to see me." She said, turning off the machine and putting it away. "What about when you go back to work? They're going to see you eventually."

"Maybe I won't go back." She said, leaning back. I looked at her. "What?" Was she really considering leaving the bau?

"We're having a baby. I could be a stay at home mom." She said, not looking at me. "You don't want to go back to the bau?"

She shrugged. "Maybe. I don't know."

"JJ." I forced her to look at me. "If this is really what you want I'll support you. But is it really what you want? You love the bau and you love the team. I know it feels like this now, but think about the future. Do you really never want to go back?"

She bowed her head. "I do. I want to to back. But what if I can't?"

"What do you mean?" I asked. "What if I'm not good at it anymore?" She said. "You're going to be fine JJ. You're good at your job. And you don't have to go back right away, you still have lots of time. The fbi gave you way too many vacation days."