Chapstick

【Part 8: Coincidence】

Chapter 8: Coincidence

I ran around the area looking for gate 5, but there was none. This university is so stupid for making things so complicated. I sighed, and looked around, and saw an Asian guy. I ran to ask him for directions, and he helped me.

My heart fluttered. It was awful being gay. Feelings developed way too quickly for me. I guess what made me fell for him was that he told me he was going to the same gate as me, but really he just wanted to walk me.

His name is Angel. I would stare at him from afar. I was fortunate enough that he was in the same language class as me. We were both Korean so I felt happy that we had some sort of similarity.

~~~~~~

One morning I woke up sick. I decided to go to school anyway since I didn't want to fall behind in class.

When I got to the university, I was pretty dizzy. I just slept through most of my classes.

Even during Korean class, I would sleep. I felt a shake on my shoulder. It was Angel, and he handed me his notebook. "Here. Just return it to me when you can." He walks away. I blushed as I held onto his notebook. I smelled it, and the scent was Angel's. Why did I have to love someone I can never have?

~~~~~~

That night, I took a picture of his notes so I didn't have to rewrite them. I could smell his aroma in the notebook, and that made my face heat up. He smells so nice.

"Kevin! Dinner is ready!" My father calls me downstairs. I placed the notebook nicely on my desk, and went down to eat.

I lived with only my dad. My mother passed away when I was 14 years old. She had lung cancer, and I felt my life was meaningless when she died. She was my best friend, and my support system. Me, and my father didn't speak much after she passed because he would be too depressed to look at me. I was the male version of my mother.

"Smells good." I smiled at my dad. He doesn't reply nor look up at me.

We hardly spoke. He would only call me down for dinner. It kinda saddens me, but I had to manage.

"When will you get a girlfriend, and move out with her?" He says out of the blue.

I didn't tell my dad about my sexuality. I knew he wouldn't be accepting of it. Before my mother passed I told her.

"Soon." I said.

~~~~~~

I had a dream of my mother when she was still alive. The dream was pleasant yet depressing. I dreamt of her final days with me.

"Kevin...promise me one thing." She says from her hospital bed.

I smiled, and held her hand. "Yes? What is it?"

"I hope you find a man that will treat you right. I don't want you to get bullied anymore."

Tears streamed out my eyes. My mother didn't take me being gay as a big deal. She just chuckled, and asked if any guy caught my eye. I love my dear mother, but I was scared of how my father would take the news. My mother knew my feelings, and kept it from my father.

I was always an odd ball. When boys in my middle school started having feelings for girls, I found myself looking at boys. I would cry a lot thinking something was wrong with me. I would get bullied a lot because of it. Boys would be scared of me so I finally decided to try to date a girl, but it didn't feel right.

I had a boyfriend once, and the sparks happened. Sadly that didn't last long. He just wanted me to give him head, and sex, and left me after. It was painful for him to butter me up with compliments, only to dump me after he used me. Since then I haven't gotten close to anyone.