Vegas x Kinnporsche

ch-5. Promise.

Vegas pov~

Fuck! .... what did i just do?!!

Why did i just do that?!

I shouldn't have told about me and Kinn!

What will porsche think of me??

What will Kinn think of me?? Will he starts hating me more than he already does??

... wait.

It doesn't matter if he hates me or think of me as whatever. Vegas! Stop it! Its been years. Stop being an idiot!

Years ago, kinn had died.

My Kinn, had died.

The Kinn that i have been facing after that day, that nightmarish day, is someone else.

He's not that Kinn that makes me feel secure. This Kinn makes me put my guard up as he can kill me in a second with not thinking twice.

That Kinn used to love me. care for me. sneaking me out of the minor house when paa would grounded me. But this kinn doesn't love me. Even if I'll be on the edge of dying, he wouldn't care for me. He's now never here when paa beat me everyother day, throw insult on me in front of the bodyguards, use me as a pawn to get what he wants from other gangs.

That Kinn would give people that kind of merciless death, that no one could imagine if someone even dare to touch me. But this Kinn..... he maybe in the future will be the reason of my death. He maybe the one who loves to kill me with his own bare hands.

Why did you changed so much Kinn?

Why did you leave me alone in this cruel world?

Why did you let me ended up being a monster?

That day in my house when he came and punched me and pointed his gun at me with that kind of anger and disgust, it broke me from inside. Do i disgust him this much? Did i used to disgust him this much when we were together too? Maybe that's why he left.

But i should stop thinking about him . I just should stop.

And then after years i felt that kind of easiness with someone else.

It is Porsche.

After kinn, Porsche is the only one who saw me as me. He was not scared of me like others. He didn't make me feel like monster even when he, im sure, heard from people about me.

With porsche, if we talk about our ride that day or the days we spent into that mission, he makes me feel alive again. He makes me feel myself again. I didn't have to act like that person to whom people are afraid of. No. With him i just like being myself.

And becus of this i want to save Porsche. He's too precious for hurt. He's too precious for the heartbreak he will get....like i got years ago from kinn.

Whenever he look at Kinn, it reminds me of my younger self the one who was madly in love with Kinn. Who thought that his world was Kinn. I can see that Porsche is so much like the younger me when its come to loving someone.

And it scares me.

It scares me that Kinn is also going to destroy his bright smile.

I still remember when 2 years after everything went down or i can say 5 years from now, i heard the news of kinn's new boyfriend, which considered as first boyfriend to people as no one knew about us. The way that thing broked my heart more that he moved on but i can't.

Tawan. Thats what his 'first' boyfriend name was.

The first time i saw him, i knew why Kinn liked him. He was tall, fair, handsome, had a charm, thin waist, talks to people politely, etc. etc.