𝐁𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓 • 𝐄.𝐃

nine

i was sitting in the passenger seat of ethan's truck with my computer in my lap, waiting for the system to load so i could hack in.

"are you ever gonna pay for my gas for one of these missions?" ethan jokes.

i ignore him seeing as im still pissed and continue staring at my computer screen, pretending like im actually doing something.

"i can see the screen loading. im not stupid. why are you ignoring me?" he said with annoyance.

"clearly you are stupid if you don't know why." i lifted my head to look out the window as i looked back on our argument.

"you convinced me you were a good guy so i was trying to give you a second chance. you lead me on by flirting with me and then you made out with me. then you allowed me to give you a blow job. but when i woke up in the morning you were no where to be found. not a note or a text to let me know. you didn't talk to me for a week. and then suddenly people are saying we fucked and i can't help but to believe you're the one telling people because who the fuck else knows that i was at your house in the first place??" i sighed as tears were brimming my eyes. i looked up at the ceiling and blinked them away.

my eyebrows furrowed when i looked back down as saw that ethan had pulled over on the side of the road. i looked at him to see him already facing me.

"you want to know the truth??" he asked.

"um yeah kind of." i said in an 'obviously' tone.

"you know, for years i've been watching you from the sidelines, being upset about the fact that i couldn't even have a normal conversation with you. it hurt that i couldn't say something without getting a snarky comment or a glare in return because guess what, i have feelings for you kailyn. i have for years now." i gulped when he admitted his feelings for me. ethan dolan likes me??

"when you decided to give me a second chance, it was the best feeling in the world. that night was the first time i was able to have a normal conversation with you. but we got a lot closer that night and my feelings became stronger. i guess i just got scared." ethan looked down at his lap as he shook his head.

"you got scared?" my confusion grew even more.

"i had just told you hours before that i've never experienced love before. i never knew what it felt like. but after that night i realized i had a different feeling rather than just 'crush-type' feelings. that night made me realize that...i think im in love with you kailyn. and i can't help it." my eyes widen at his confession.

i had just started gaining positive feelings for ethan. i know some of them are definitely more than friends feelings but i also know that none of them are love.

"i got scared because i didn't want to mess anything up. we just began a new friendship and i didn't want to ruin that. and the last thing i want to do is break your heart because i don't know how to give my love to you." i noticed his eyes became a little red and i realized he was about to cry if i didn't say something.

i grabbed his hand to which he looked down at before looking back up at me. "i won't deny the fact that i have some feelings for you but i also can't say that im in love with you. im sorry ethan."

i felt bad that i didn't feel the same way but at the same time his feelings for me have been there for years, it's reasonable for him to be in love. meanwhile my feelings for him have only been there for a couple of days. love is a whole new level that i haven't reached yet.

"and that's completely understandable. we just grew closer a week ago. im not saying you should be in love with me. im just letting you know how i feel and why i was distancing myself." his grip on my hand tightened a bit.

"i respect that you decided to be honest with me. i think from here we need to take things slow and figure things out. i don't want to jump into a relationship right now." a small smile grew on his face and happiness filled his eyes.

"i respect your decision. i don't want to jump into anything either. i'm just happy you're not mad at me anymore." he smiled which caused me to reciprocate it.

"but in the mean time we have a mission to finish to pedal to the metal lover boy." i looked down at the computer to see it finally loaded so i began hacking the system to shut it down.

"you got it sassy pants." he joked as he faced forward again and began moving, not without me giving him a playful glare first.

this outta be interesting.