𝐁𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓 • 𝐄.𝐃

fifteen

after realizing how hypocritical i was being, i woke up early and went over to my desk. i sat down and began writing a letter.

i finished writing it and looked at the digital clock on my desk. 6:23 am. i got dressed and put on a pair of running shoes, leaving the house to go for a jog. i jogged down ethan's street with the letter in my hand. i placed it on his doorstep and jogged away.

ethan's pov

i was laying in my bed, staring up at the ceiling when grayson came into my room. "this was on the porch." he dropped an envelope on my bed and left. i picked up the envelope that had my name on it in kailyns writing and immediately opened it.

ethan,

i'm not mad at you. i can't be. but i have a very strong feeling you're gonna be mad at me after this and i'm okay with that. i can't be mad at you because i've been keeping a secret from you too.

january 12th, 2019. one week before your dad passed. me, ryleigh, and lane had gone to your house to hang out with grayson. you and grayson had been out running errands. when we walked in, your mom was running around the house franctically grabbing things and shoving them in a bag. she had tears running down her cheeks and we all looked at each other.

she stopped when she saw us and i had asked what was going on. she told us that she got a call from the hospital and they told her that sean had gotten significantly worse. she was trying to leave to go to the hospital. i offered to drive her there seeing the state she was in, she gladly accepted.

when we got there, we ran to his room. lisa ran to his side crying and we all stood there watching. eventually sean noticed us and asked me to come closer as he had something he wanted to ask. he asked me to not tell you and grayson. he knew he was going to go soon and he wanted you guys to live your lives normally and not dedicate it to sitting in a hospital room by his side, waiting for his monitor to stop beeping.

no matter how much me and lisa argued that it wasn't fair, he made me promise that i would allow you guys to have fun that week and not worry about him. he told me that was his dying wish, for you guys to be happy.

im so sorry that i let my anger take over. i didn't even take into account that i did the same thing before i took my anger out on you. you can talk to me or you can ignore me and be pissed at me. whichever one you choose, i'll understand.

kailyn

i crumpled the letter in anger and grabbed my phone.

me: where are you at?

grayson: the building

me: is kailyn there?

grayson: yea why?

i ignored his questioned and grabbed my keys, running out of the house. i sped towards the building while my blood was boiling. i stormed into the building seeing kailyn silently sitting next to grayson, not participating in the conversation.

i let my anger get the best of me and let the words roll off my tongue. "you hypocritical fucking bitch." kailyns eyes darted towards mine and i could see guilt fill her eyes. look who's feeling guilty now.

"you had the fucking audacity to yell at me like that when you did the exact fucking thing?!" i raised my voice even louder, everyone in the circle staring at us.

"ethan what are you talking about??" grayson butted in. i threw the letter into his lap and turned my attention back to kailyn who was now looking at the floor crying.

"how DARE you say all of that shit to me and tell me you don't want to see me. oh my god you are such a bitch." i let out a sour laugh at the last sentence.

"don't fucking talk to her like that." lane stepped up and got in my face.

"you fucking knew too. don't even come to me like that. you too you bitch." i looked at ryleigh as i could see guilt in her eyes too.

my attention finally went back to grayson as he had just finished reading the letter, but for some reason he didn't look nearly as pissed. he didn't look pissed at all.

"wait a damn minute. are you telling me you knew?? you knew that she kept this secret from us and you never told me?!" i yelled at my twin as he stood up, trying to calm me down.

"she eventually told me after it happened." he said quietly, rocking back and forth on his feet.

"you TOLD HIM?? AND YOU DIDNT TELL ME???" i yelled at kailyn.

"WE HATED EACH OTHER ETHAN. WHAT WAS I SUPPOSE TO DO??" she yelled back, standing up and finally saying something.

"IT DOESNT MATTER IF WE HATED EACH OTHER. THAT WAS MY FATHER. WE DIDNT GET TO SAY GOODBYE TO OUR OWN FATHER BECAUSE OF YOU!" i towered over her.

"AND I DIDNT GET TO SAY GOODBYE TO MY MOTHER BECAUSE OF YOU! WHAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT THIS?!" she yelled. her statement made me think causing me to be quiet.

my eyes scanned across the four people who kept this secret from me. "unbelievable." i rolled my eyes and left.

i have the right to be mad...right?