I Lied | BTS

05

Everyone could tell Kangdae was not in a good mood when he came back home from wherever he had gone, locking himself away in his room once again without a word or even a glance. Kangdae was infuriated by his brother's behaviour and it wasn't helping when half of his new band members didn't like him all that much. 

Jimin had decided to cheer him up, bringing in his laptop so they could watch a movie, and Kangdae could definitely say it calmed him down. It was something about the company of the young boy that put Kangdae at ease and he wondered if it was because he reminded him of how his little brother used to be around him. Kangdae missed his baby Minjun but he knew he was growing up and trying to find himself, something that seemed to be a bit of a difficult task.

But they had practice the next day and that meant more interactions with the members, including Jin who obviously wanted nothing to do with Kangdae.

He sat between Jimin and Junkook in the back of the van, far from Jin who sat in the driver's seat and Namjoon who sat beside him. Jungkook was a rather neutral person in the Kangdae situation, he wasn't horrible but he wasn't as accepting as Namjoon and nowhere near as sweet as Jimin but they didn't know each other so who could blame him? 

Taehyung and Yoongi obviously didn't like him and he was fine with that, he was glad Jin had such loyal and supportive friends.

They met their dance instructor, someone who seemed like he had it out for Kangdae for some strange reason. The older man had called him incompetent at least three times in the last two hours and that was only because he misplaced his foot a few too many times. Kangdae remained calm, however, he knew how to keep his cool even in the worst of times and he prided himself on that.

"Kangdae! Move your foot!" The instructor yelled abruptly, kicking Kangdae's foot a little too harshly and causing him to stumble.

Kangdae huffed and bit his lip, knowing eyes were all on him. "I apologise, Chanwoo-Nim."

"Do it again!"

And so Kangdae did, again and again, and again until he was out of breath and his muscles twitched with overuse. It only made it more difficult to get the moves right when his ankle finally gave out and he tumbled to the ground.

Chanwoo scoffed, standing over him with a glare. "You're useless, Kangdae. How did you get this job in the first place?"

Kangdae tried his best, he really did, but it seemed as though that wasn't enough for the instructor.

"Yah! That's enough!" Hoseok came to his rescue, scolding their teacher like a mere child while Namjoon quickly moved to grab Kangdae from the floor and steady him on his feet. 

"Are you okay?" Namjoon worried over Kangdae, setting him down against the wall to rest. 

Nothing like being forced into a group that didn't need him, finding his long-lost friend who hated him, and being yelled at by a dance instructor for five hours. What else could go wrong? His baby brother despising him? His little sister feeling added stress? Well, that's already happening.

Kangdae choked on his saliva as he tried to catch his breath, only for it to burn his lungs and make his throat raw. It was as if his heart had stuttered in its moment of pain and his lungs couldn't quite catch up but that was okay, he was alright.

"Dae-Hyung, can you hear me?" A voice broke through his panic for air and Kangdae tried to grab ahold of the person, trying to ground himself, and that was how he found him gripping onto Namjoon's shirt tightly gasping for air. "Okay, okay, you're okay. Just breathe, Dae-Hyung."

Kangdae felt stupid, under all their eyes flailing about like an idiot when he was usually the strong one. He had to be strong, he couldn't fail.

Suddenly, Kangdae got a grip on himself, closed his mouth and stopped struggling.

"Dae-Hyung? Dae-Hyung?!" Namjoon shook him anxiously.

But his eyes were open and he was fine, Kangdae just had to clear his mind and tell himself everything was okay because it was. And, finally, he breathed out evenly and he was in a state of calm once again, at least, that was to the outside world.

"I'm fine." Kangdae rasped, receiving looks of shock and surprise as he rose to his feet, he quickly glanced at each person, "I'm fine." And with that, he left the studio and rushed to the bathroom nearby. 

It was going to be okay, it had to be.