Letters to Camilo

Letter #12

AFXJJSJJD I'M SO SORRY GUYS THAT I DIDN'T UPDATE LAST SUNDAY, THAT WEEK WAS VERY BUSY AND I ALSO WANTED TO MAKE SURE THAT THIS CHAPTER WAS WRITTEN AS *PERFECTLY* AS POSSIBLE AND THAT IT IS VERY EMOTIONAL TOO.

 

So without further ado, I present to you, the longly awaited reveal of what happened to our dear Camilo~

Prepare your tissues and enjoy :)
I hope that this

P.S. I am not responsible for explaining why you suddenly burst into tears in the presence of unknowing people. I advise that you read this in a comfortable place all alone.

Dear Camilo,

I…. don’t know what to say…

I have a lot I want to say…. but the words won’t really come out.

I don’t even know why I’m writing this letter in the first place, it’s useless writing these now, but I felt like I should write it, it kind of helps me feel better, if that makes any sense.

So that might be why I’m writing it, because I really need something to make me feel at least a tiny bit better right now. Or maybe because I’m used to writing. I don’t know, I can’t think properly right now.

I don’t know what to write, but I need to write something down or else I feel like I’m going to explode or something, I don’t know. I really don’t know, I don’t know what I’m doing or what I should do now, I have no idea.

I want to write, I need to write, but I can’t, I just can’t, nothing is making sense, I don’t know anything at all.

It feels like I can’t breathe.

But maybe, just maybe, if I write, I can make some sense of what’s happening, because I have no idea, like how I used to do with my very first letters when I was younger. Only now, I just found out that what I thought was happening wasn’t happening at all, and what actually happened is something way, way worse.

So now, I’ll start writing about what happened today, one thing after the other, like how I used to do when I was younger, because I don’t know what else to do. I feel so confused and sad and maybe angry and a lot of other things I don’t know how to put into words and stuff. I hate this, I hate all of this, I don’t why it had to happen. It’s not fair.

I’m sorry for the very messy handwriting, I’m not thinking properly and it’s the best I can do, I’m sorry.

So today was a bad day. A very bad day, the worst one of my life, together with the one where you disappeared. No day can be any worse than these 2. If you can’t tell already, I’m not okay, I don’t think I will ever be fully okay again.

So yes, what happened, in order. By the way, Parce is here at my feet to help me calm down a bit because I surely need it, I love him so much.

I woke up today, like usual, and went to have breakfast, bla bla bla, same as usual, all happy and stuff and not having any idea on what I was about to discover. It’s funny how everything can change in such a short amount of time.

After breakfast, I went to my room to get changed and ready for the day full of chores and helping and stuff. You know how my room is full of animals because of my gift, right? So it's not unusual to find an animal lying on the floor of my room sleeping.
But today, I saw a bird lying down on the floor, looking like he was sleeping. You might say, what's so weird about that? He was just sleeping normally.

But no. Birds usually don't lie down on the floor to sleep like other animals. They sit on their branches, fluff up their feathers and sleep there. So there shouldn't have been a bird on the floor.