EYE OF THE STORM | k.kazuha

35: A MONSTER

"...What?"

Only a single word left your mouth. Yui... disappeared. Whether she ran away or was kidnapped, Yoimiya did not know. You did not know.

You simply thanked the Traveler, the blonde giving you a sympathetic look before turning away. To your surprise, as soon as they left you alone, no tears left your eyes. It seems you've run out of tears to cry.

Despite this, you felt small. An itching, burning sensation spread throughout your arms.

The blood pounded in your ears as your hands started to shake. The world became blurry, almost as if you were looking through a fish-eye lens. You felt your chest growing tight as bile rose in your throat.

You clutched your blade, hands wrapped so tightly around it that your nails dug into your palms. You used every last bit of your strength to walk away — to find a better place to let out the disgusting feeling growing in your stomach.

The clouds started to roar, signaling the soldiers to return to base camp. Everyone moved out, some calling your name, but you did not budge. You stood there in the middle of Nazuchi beach, frozen.

The rain became a substitute for your lack of tears. The ache in your heart gradually grew as you fell to your knees. All the confidence, all your strength, and all your happiness from earlier were washed away.

An agonizing scream left your mouth as guilt surged through your body. You held no regard for those who would hear. More than anything, you were scared for Yui.

You were scared of the uncertainty and the countless possibilities. She could be alive, she could be dead. She could have run away or she could have been kidnapped. Either way, no matter what happened, you felt at fault.

You're always at fault. No matter how much you tried to run, you always end up being the monster.

"Y/N, please come with me." Kazuha's voice filled your ears as he stood in front of you.

You don't deserve him, Y/N.
You're nothing but a nuisance.
Why are you still alive?

You drew your blade, in a way almost identical to the night you met. It was filled with fear, shame, and a foreign anger. Kazuha stumbled back, surprised by your actions. It wasn't a pleasant surprise like it was back then, though.

"Stay away from me. I'm being serious." You threatened. He flinched from how venomous your tone was.

"Just listen to me, Y/N. I know that you're—" He tried. "You don't know anything! You don't know anything, okay? Stop trying to make me feel better when you don't know anything." You snapped.

"Don't talk to me like that."

"Or what? You're gonna disappear too?"

Your chest heaved, feeling adrenaline pumping through your veins. You never argued with Kazuha, not like this. Up until this point, it's all been friendly banter.

"Don't say that, Y/N! You know I'd never dare to."

"Would you stop being so nice? God! I— I can't take it when you care! I hate it when you care. I hate you!" Those words flew faster than your mind could think.

"Don't you get it? I'm a monster, Kazuha! No matter how much you want to convince me otherwise, I'll always stay that way!" You yelled, pushing your sword closer to the samurai's chest.

The wounds from your near-death experience started to sting, making you tear up. You groaned in physical pain, the shaking of your hands getting worse. Eventually, you dropped your katana on the floor.