flowers through concrete||yeonbin✔️

please, call me mom

"my world stopped and started when I saw you."

Haneul cries in the room next to us and I hear him both on the baby monitor and in my ears. Soobin and me both sit up and he says, "Go back to bed, I've got him," before going to feed our son, which we have to do every two hours.

Choi Haneul has only been breathing in oxygen for one week and I'm already tired. He cries when he's tired, hungry, cold, hot, needs a diaper change, or just wants attention. So basically...24/7.

When we left the hospital just two days ago I was estatic to finally hold my baby in my arms and not my belly, which now looks like I'm five months pregnant now that Haneul isn't living there rent free anymore. I still am glad that he's here and he's healthy despite all the challenges me and Soobin faced during my pregnancy, but I'm just bone tired. I can never sleep for long. Everything revolves around Haneul.

I do everything when he's sleeping: clean, cook, make more bottles for when he wakes up, turn in the little bit of work I had left to do despite Chan saying I could put off some, and after all of that is done I might, just might, get to take a fifteen minute nap.

But I shouldn't be complaining, Soobin has it worse. He has to help me, go to work for a couple hours, manage to fit in schoolwork AND make time to take his end of the year tests so he can graduate college. He does it all with a smile for me and Haneul though, and I couldn't ask for a better partner.

The freckled Aussie who gave birth the same day as me at 5:55 AM was also over sometimes with his son Seo Yong-bin/Lee Daniel-Seo. The newborn seemed to gain Felix's eyes, freckles, and bubbly personality. A contrast to Haneul who glares at people already but is actually shy and cute once you get to know him, like his father who is utterly obsessed with his son.

The group has been begging to see the baby, even the tops, and today they would finally get to see him and I would reveal his name. I haven't let them see anything, except his tiny foot which they gushed over in the group chat. They keep blowing up my phone at the moment.

beommie<33:
I CANT WAIT TO SEE THE BABY I CANT BREATHE😖

kaikai✔️:
im sitting beside him. he's actually not breathing-

me:
beomgyu pls breathe it's not that deep-.-

beommie<33:
YES IT IS! 😟

maitaibby🇹🇭😍:
^•^<33

jOnGiN:):
I AGREE. I'm not breathing too😤👍🏼

me:
🤦🏻‍♂️

thekingkeeho😌:
If yall dont breathe u cant see the bby cuz ur gonna be dead.....0.0

sassysunoo💁🏻‍♂️💅🏼:
STUBBORN BOTTOMS UNITE. #notbreathing😙

mys(e)oulmate🧸:
#sbu✊🏼 #notbreathing😍

AuSsIeBoY🦘:
im a top and im joining😤✊🏼 #notbreathing

beommie<33:
no jake it's bottoms only😒💅🏼

AuSsIeBoY🦘:
I dont see that on the sign up sheet💁🏻‍♂️👀

beommie<33:
....