Moving Mountains (Patrick Kane)

Truths and Reality .46

Valerie

Life can be most unexpected. Everything you thought you knew about it, could be wrong. Everyone has a truth and they rarely are ever the same. What you called love could be chains, what you thought was right was wrong all along. It's not hard to mistake the signs thrown our way. They can be blurred or misleading. When we make our mind up about something we believe it to be the truth, but it may only be our truth. For reality and the truth are not one in the same.

But some things are as undeniable as the sun shining bright. You see it, you feel it and therefore you cannot deny it. As were my feelings for Patrick. Bright, sunny, and undeniable. And it was something I was still coming to terms with. The truth of my feelings and the reality of our situation weren't the same. Because we know it's the sun, and we can acknowledge it. But just like my feelings I'm not for sure how long it's been there or what the true purpose is. I just know I hope it never goes away for I couldn't live without it.

"We haven't been on a first date" Patrick mentions late one night. It was approaching midnight and I didn't have work tomorrow so I wasn't in a rush to get home. He had gotten back late from a game so I stopped by to say hi but it ended up with us hanging out in his couch.

"Is that a big deal" I question truly not knowing what the importance is.

"Well I guess it depends on who you ask" he shrugs.

"What would we do on a fist date? Isn't the point of it to get to know one another and see if they can be compatible in the future" I question.

"If that's the case we've been on a lot of first dates" he chuckles.

"So do we really need one" I ask.

"No. But I still think it would be nice. After everything we've been though I think we deserve a first date worth telling" he claims.

"Okay" I nod. "Then right now. Let's go on our first date."

"Now" he nearly chokes.

"Why not? This relationship hasn't been normal, and though I've never been in a relationship before I don't need to know this is weird, so why shouldn't the date be" I challenge.

I see the wheels turn in his head before he smiles at me. "Okay then. Let's do it" he agrees.

We change into something a bit nicer than the sweats we were wearing. I pull my hair back and we hit the town.

I let Patrick pick the place since he's a little more familiar with dating spots and we end up at this cool bar downtown. It wasn't like all the others that smelled odd and was dark, it had a bunch of neon lights and had a cool vibe to it. The music wasn't loud and there wasn't many people around. It was kind of nice to be out.

"So what are your hobbies" he asks like we were actually on a first date. I just roll my eyes as I play into his hands.

"Working, cooking, and hanging out with you" I admit.

"Not bad. You know when we first met and I would ask questions like that and you couldn't answer me. You would tell me there was nothing there, like you were some empty vessel for people to use. But I saw something in you, even as you evaded all my answers. It was someone who was there but refused to look in the mirror and see her for who she truly was. Who saw herself as an empty vessel too. But I saw all the things you did to push people away even though you didn't want to be alone anymore. I saw how much you tried to make the world a better place even though you refused to step into the light.

I saw you, Valerie. And I wanted to keep seeing you" he explains.

I feel my heart skip a beat as he just smiles at me. I never understood how he said things like that without a second thought. He was always able to say what's on his mind, rather what was in his heart. And I always admired him for that.

"And I thought you were a meaty shit for brains" I tease making him gasp. "But no one has changed the way I see the world more than you have. And no one has proven me wrong like you. You see I thought I had all but figured everyone out, knew how to mask my presence and what to say so people don't think I'm shitty but know that my part in their life is temporary.

Then you showed up and no matter how hard I pushed you or what I said to you you still showed up. Time and time again. I had no idea what to do with you.

Slowly I learned about you, and despite what I had originally thought you weren't like everyone else. And I couldn't treat you so. I learned how to interact with you and in doing so I learned to love you for all that you showed me, and all that you were afraid to show.

Looking back I guess it was inevitable we would end up here. At 1 am in a cool bar having our first date after knowing each other for almost a year. Though I never would admit it at the time you were set to change me. Now there can be an us" I admit.

He just smiles at me as he reaches over and grabs my hand. I feel him squeeze me tight letting me know he feels the same way. By just a look into the eyes he was able to change what I thought was unchangable. Because of him I talk to my brothers, I am actually happy to take up every day because I get to talk to him. Even when he's gone I feel his presence still with me. He's in my heart so I know I will never be alone again.

We stay in that bar for hours not even touching our food. I'm not sure this would constitute as a first date but I get the idea here. Instead of us learning about each other we are remembering all the times we've already had. Realizing feelings that were there from the start but neither of us could act on.

We leave there about 2:30 am and decide to walk around the downtown area. It was still pretty cold but it was a stunning city regardless. Patrick's arm was wrapped around me tight as he holds me close. I rest my head on his shoulder as the tiredness starts to catch up to me.

"Are you tired" he asks.

"A little bit, yeah" I admit.

"Jump on my back, I'll get you back to my place" he tries.

"You are so lucky I am too tired to argue with you right now" I tease.

I hop on his back and we start the trek back to the apartment. My chin rests on his shoulder as I close my eyes.

"I love you" I whisper in her ear causing him to stop. I open my eyes to make sure everything is okay. He turns to me before smiling really big.

"I love you too, Valerie" he promises.