Second Job .51

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Valerie

It's been a emotionally draining few days. I got my hours cut at the day care center I work at with spring break coming up and most of the families taking a vacation. After I got my car fixed and paid rent I was hurting just as bad as my pockets were.

I'm no stranger to adversity, especially when it comes to money. I've struggled through a great many of tough times. Nothing but peanut butter sandwiches for a week and not using hardly any of the power at home, even for heat. But every time life hit me hard I got up again. It's never the end of the world. You learn that the hard way.

And asking for help was never really an option for me. I mean who was I going to ask? No one offered a hand, that's why it's so easy for me to do it for others. I was in their position. Hell, part of me feels like I still am. I know I could bat my eyes and Patrick would take care of everything for me. Say the word and I would have whatever I needed in minutes. The man was a little too eager to help me out. But I don't want his money and I don't want his pity. Every time I look at him I'm reminded that love can conquer most things. But I would be a fool to believe this love closes the gap between how he lives and how I have lived.

And I don't enjoy keeping my struggles from him. It gets harder and harder every day. I don't want him worrying about me, about my financial situations. This was something that I had to handle on my own.

So I pick up another part time job working at a coffee shop not too far from where he skates. A few morning shifts as a barista since I had the experience from working at other bakeries and they make good tips. If Patrick asked I would tell him I was going for a run or was still at the day care. Ease his mind the best I can.

It was a particularly warm morning so not a lot of people were in the mood for hot coffee. This place is super busy during the school year but with teachers and students gone, it was still slow too. But it was good hard earned money that I very much needed.

The bell to the front door goes off and I perk up as I head to the front. As soon as I make it out of the back I see Patrick standing there and I freeze. He had his hands in his jacket pockets as he just stared me down.

Now I'm in trouble.

"What can I get for you" I tried.

"Seriously" he asks making me sigh.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what to tell you" I admit.

"You can start but explaining why you failed to mention that you got another job" he tries.

"Or you can tell me your order" I say with a fake smile.

"Stop deflecting Val" he warns.

"I'm not! I just... I'm sorry" I sigh in defeat. My shoulders fall as I realize I can't get out of this.

"Why didn't you tell me? I trust you with everything Valerie. The other day I literally texted you to tell you that I had another grey hair come in. That's not even important but I shared that with you because we're in a relationship , that's what we do. There isn't a thing in this world I couldn't tell you. And I know how hard it is for you to open up. I know that we still have a long way to go. But I thought that if anything were to happen... you could tell me" he insists.

"You know I never got a degree. To be honest college was never really something I ever wanted to do. From a young age all I knew how to do was work. I learned everything I needed to know along the way, it never failed me. But eventually someone younger and more qualified appears and then all of the sudden people don't need me as much. All that money for a degree that will never teach you the most important things about life. You don't see any lessons about how to avoid poverty on a chalk board. Not how to do taxes or avoid bankruptcy. They require a degree but don't give a shit about what that degree really says. What it takes to get one.

Think about it. In this life we raise kids to all learn the same things over and over again. The information is redacted, it's altered to fit some ridiculous agenda these schools push. We put so much weight on having an education and not enough on what that education is. Anyone can teach, that's what they say. But no one tells a kid how to handle their feelings, there's no class on serving with a elderly grandmother who doesn't know if she will make it to the end of the week with the groceries she had and two mouths to feed. We are taught to judge one another and not to accept ourselves. It's insane.

Now I'm here working two jobs and still barley making it by. Maybe a degree would help but I don't need to spend thousands a of dollars to know that there is no one job I could do for the rest of my life and be happy. Though I would have loved a lesson about billing or how to pay bills. If school taught me anything valuable to my life now I would probably be better off.

But I'm not. I have no money. No prospects. No clue on how I'm going to pull through. I just know that I have to" I shrug.

"You have to let me help" he begs.

"I don't have to. Not at all" I remind him.

"I would give you the world if you asked me to. And I know you never would. Wouldn't ask for a penny. But you need to know that there is no shame in asking for help. This isn't a hand out, this is something we both want. It's 50/50. In this relationship we are half of a whole. And if I can't help out my better half then what kind of man would I be? This isn't some toxic masculinity type of shit. This is a if you need something all you have to do is ask. If you truly want to work here then I will leave it be. But if you want a temporary solution until you can get some hours back I'm here" he explains.

"The boss here is kind of an ass hole" I whisper and he chuckles. "And I really don't like the idea of not being able to spend more time with you. I just... I don't know how to ask for help" I confess.

"Thank you for sharing that with me. You have nothing to worry about. You can walk out of here and we can go get some breakfast and figure this out" he offers.

"I would like that" I admit.

So I take off my apron and type up a mostly nice email letting my boss know I would not be back. We walk out the front door side by side until he tucks me under his arm. I wrap my arm around his back before resting my head on his chest.

I know that wherever we go that we would be okay, as long as we were together.

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