Remember When ↠ l.p.

Isabella's past

"Why," Louis asks that night at dinner "does Liam think that Sophia's death is your fault? You've mentioned this in your story but you never elaborated upon why." He sets down his fork and watches me carefully. I inhale sharply and glance at Cailyn who is happily burying peas into her mashed potatoes.

"It's not something I really like to talk about..." I trail off, hoping that Louis will let me off the hook. This is the exact thing I hoped wouldn't happen. I feel like the more people who know of my past the more vulnerable I become. Not to mention, look what happened to Sophia. She's dead...and Liam would have people believe it's because of me and my past.

"I don't like to talk about my husband being drooled over everywhere he goes and neither do I like talking women or even presenters or interviewers who can't keep their hands off him. Or who can't seem to stop mentioned how fit he is. Somehow, I still manage to get through it. So talk." he picks up his fork again and stuff his mouth full of potatoes. He chews his mouthful of food while glowering at me, his whole body looking impatient as he chews hurriedly while leaning forward and staring at me.

"Well I'll tell you as much as is appropriate at the dinner table then." I frown at him. I shoot a pointed look towards Cailyn and he nods, understandingly. His body relaxes a little and I begin.

"It started back before Cailyn was born. You could almost say it was the reason it all happened, her coming into the world. I had met a guy, he seemed great, supportive, intelligent, funny, and hot. We got along very well and we'd been seeing each other for a while. I started making mistakes, I started letting my life becoming centered on him. I look back and see that it gave him so much power over me and in the end made me very unhappy. So unhappy that it got to the point that I wasn't healthy. Then I found out I was pregnant and things began to get worse. He changed and began to threaten me." I shrug. "I'm sure you've heard similar stories. In the end he left me, broken. Thankfully my mother was there to pick up the pieces. I went to rehab, I tried to get fixed, and I had to find work to support myself and Cailyn. I finally found my footing, I moved here to try and escape the memories. I felt like they were haunting me and here I could have a new start. A fresh beginning to rewrite my life. Everything was going well. Then, one day we were at the supermarket and we met Liam and Tessie. It was so coincidental and the girls got along so well. It seemed too perfect. Liam said that Tessie was never that friendly with strangers and then he offered me the job of being her nanny." I smile, my lips trembling a little. "I thought things were finally working out."

"What happened? What changed after Sophia's death?" Louis probes gently.

"Apparently Liam and Sophia dug into my past before they made the final decision to hire me. I assume they found the hospital records or maybe therapists I tried. There were ways they could have found out the whole story. Liam has said that Sophia was flying to Australia for me. For some reason there was something there that they had found and they thought it would help me. He said she went there for me. That she died because she went there for me. He blames me. I know," I hold up a hand before he can say anything. "that it couldn't have been my fault. But at the same time I'm not completely guilt free."

"Do you have any idea what it could have been that they thought would help you?" Louis questions me.

I scoot my chair back from the table, my hands shaking. I can't do this anymore. I shake my head to him and rush out of the room, brushing away the tears spilling from my eyes. There's a reason I still don't like to think about those times. I may be stronger since dealing with so many of the things I'd buried, but they still affect me. I'm not completely past being trapped by them. They're captors of a difficult kind.