Remember When ↠ l.p.

Begin again

How is he going to handle this?

I can see that he's trying to act like it doesn't bother him. His eyes are darting between Tessie's face and mine and his hands are gripping the armrests much tighter than they were before. His voice is deceptively steady as he asks speaks up again. "That's great, I mean I'm glad that you mean that much to her..."

"I didn't ask her to," I blurt out in a panic "she did it suddenly one day and I didn't know what to tell her, I didn't want her to think it was wrong or that I couldn't fill that for her. I mean, I don't think that it's wrong, but I didn't really think from your perspective at the time." I sigh and step back from him. "I'm sorry, I know it's not what you wanted to hear her saying."

"No," he straightens up in his seat. "no, it's not what I wanted to hear but it's not wrong or a bad thing. I'm just not ready to really think about how far things have moved on without me."

"We're still here." I murmur softly. I peak up at him but don't look directly at him. I'm so glad he isn't yelling or...anything negative. He doesn't even seem to be that upset by it. He's not crying and he's not screaming, which were the two things I was most afraid of happening or causing. Getting angry is something that other  Liam would have done. I think this experience speaks bounds for how far Liam has come in his healing process. He's not being controlled by his other self and he's not completely shattered by hearing his daughter call another woman her mother.

"What did you say?" He asks me, leaning towards me further to hear me better.

"I said, we're still here. That's one thing that hasn't changed. I don't know how much I actually meant to you Liam, and I don't blame you if you hate me. I know that a part of you does hate me and it's a validated hate. But I consider you a friend and I plan on being here for you. And Tessie is still here, she still adores you. So don't say that everything has moved on, because we haven't." I repeat, louder this time to make sure he catches each word.

It's something that he didn't get to see, me coming to see him almost every day while he was in a coma. He doesn't remember all the time I came to see him when he was here for his rehabilitation. He doesn't remember fighting for Tessie's guardianship and how hard it was for me. But he also doesn't remember the way Tessie would cringe away from him sometimes when he was other Liam. And he doesn't remember yelling at me, which I count as a small blessing. 

"Thank you," he says, almost too quietly to be clearly audible. I think I see his eyes glistening a little, but I just smile and nod to him as if I didn't notice. 

"Alright," one of his doctor's claps their hands together and addresses our little group that is spilling out from Liam's room. "are we ready to get this show on the road?" 

"Yes!" Cailyn and Tessie cheer in unison, dancing together in circles by Liam's wheelchair. They walk beside him as one of the nurses step behind him to push Liam out the door of his, now, old room. I walk alongside with the other doctors and one nurse that always attends to Liam a lot. Dr. Madison is not present, to my relief. It's not a long walk to his old room, we walk down the hall and take the elevator two floors up. From there we have another two halls to walk down and then we turn into another wing specifically for similar patients to Liam. I think in total there are three other rooms being occupied currently. 

"Here we are," another of Liam's doctors announces as we stop in front of Liam's room. The same doctor motions to the most senior doctor present. "Would you like to do the honors?"

"I would indeed," the doctor chuckles as he steps out to the front of our procession. He turns to regard us all, nodding seriously to the girls who giggle in reply. "Mr. Payne I would like to welcome you, again, to your quarters and congratulate you on how quickly you're recovering." And with that he turns around to open the doors (yes doors, it's a decently sized room) with a flourish. 

I watch as Liam's face brightens as he looks around himself, nodding in appreciation. "I have good taste," he comments, drawing laughter from a few of the doctors. I grin along with everyone else and, as I step into his rooms, can't help but feel like this is a new, better chapter for Liam.  

Sorry I didn't update. I was busy refreshing and trying to break veto records ;) Hope you all enjoyed the Drag Me Down video bc it was truly beautiful. Have a fun weekend as well