Chapter Thirty-Seven

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Raina

******

I didn't attend yesterday's revel. I didn't even go to this morning's breakfast. I'd hidden in my room, safe from the troubles of the outside. Safe from my problems. Safe from Azure -- at least, in the physical sense. No amount of hiding could prevent the grip she had on my mind, like claws hooked into my brain. Every waking thought revolved around her.

I couldn't quite get over what had happened. It had been so fast, that kiss. It was as though I'd jumped off some sort of ledge and I'd still yet to hit the ground. I was still falling, still dreading for when that impact would finally shake my bones. 

Part of me felt disgusted by it; that I'd allowed myself to give in to such a desire. But another part, a sinful part, kept replying the graze of her fingers over my skin, the way lips had set fire to mine. And with every memory came the butterflies, stirring to life in my stomach, only to be fanned away by disgust moments later. 

But that wasn't the worst part. She was my mate. My True Mate. I'd hoped it was a dud at first, but I always knew it wasn't. Knew it from the moment I'd been brought back to life, when I'd looked into her eyes and my world exploded in sterling silvers and shining golds, and she'd been at the centre of it all. I thought I was in delirium. I thought there was no way I could have been mated to her, but our kiss the other day confirmed all my worst fears. We were mated to each other. I was mated to Azure

And it terrified me. Terrified me almost as much as it thrilled me.

With an angry huff of breath, I shot up from my bed and stormed towards the door. I needed to go outside. I needed to escape all these niggling thoughts and stupid feelings. I needed to stop thinking about her

I stepped outside into the halls, squinting at the midday light filtering through the windows. I welcomed the burning of my eyes, a pain to distract me from the one in my heart. With a grumbling stomach, I decided it best to make my way to the kitchens. I regretted my decision almost immediately when I passed by a small alcove, and a familiar voice called out to me. 

"Raina?" 

Shit.

I stopped dead in my tracks. I knew who it was before I pivoted to face her, and when her blue eyes met mine, several emotions passed through me -- shock, desire, dread. I felt similar emotions being echoed back to me moments later, and that's when I remembered I could feel everything she felt -- and vice versa. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.  

"Azure," I greeted, trying to keep my voice even. Part of me hoped she would stay seated and let me on my way, but when she shot up from the armchair, I realized that was not the case. I braced myself as she walked over to me. 

"We need to talk."

My heart rate ticked up, and as she approached, I fought the overbearing urge to retreat. No, I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to talk about anything, but the look in Azure's eyes had me pinned to the spot. I couldn't move, and the way she was looking at me made it hard to think.

"Okay..."

"When did you find out?"

Sweat drenched my palms. Part of me wanted to play dumb and act like nothing had happened, but I knew better than that. "After the Delta struck me with that bolt. When I opened my eyes and saw you, it just... it just snapped in place. I though I was imagining it, but..."

I lowered my head, unable to finish the sentence. I couldn't say it out loud, but you're my mate

She must have read as much on my face, for her brows knotted with hurt. Even so, the expression passed a moment later, her voice lethally soft as she asked, "And why didn't you tell me earlier, Raina?"

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