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"A hand to hold and a reason to believe"
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It's been a while since Christmas which means break is long over and it's back to studying and attending lectures. However, despite the huge workload I currently have, life couldn't possibly be better.
Sterling and I are perfect, not to brag or anything.
It's a rare occurrence when I don't wake up next to him in the morning. Either he stays over at my place or me at his, and with him holding me, I sleep like a rock. No waking up in the middle of the night with a panic attack or feeling anxious while I'm trying to get to sleep.
None of that.
Because he's there.
For the most part, when we're together it's nothing overly exciting or too expensive. Sure, we treat ourselves to the occasional fancy date, but usually it's just the two of us talking until 4:00 AM, cuddling while watching a movie, or having mind-blowing sex.
Surprisingly, I don't have much to do right now. Sterling is at hockey practice with the rest of the boys, Chase is working out, and the girls are all busy doing their own things. Which means I'm home alone.
So, I decide it's a good time to pick up a book.
It's been a while since I've read. A lot of it is due to the fact that I've been swamped with school, but another part is because I haven't felt the need to escape into another world.
I'm really happy with my own life.
Because no one is here, I don't hesitate to pick a sad book. If I start sobbing in my room, no one is here to laugh at how emotional I am.
I gather a few snacks from downstairs and bring them to my room. Yes, I eat in my bed, don't judge me. Then, I find a box of tissues and set them on my nightstand before I crack open the book that's sure about to devastate me, and begin reading.
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I've been reading the entire day, and all I have to say is; I was right.
I'm currently wearing Sterling's hoodie with the hood up over my head, huddled up under about a dozen blankets, and sobbing my eyes out.
Was this a good idea? I don't even know.
Probably not.
I set the finished book down and look into my mirror.
I am a mess.
My eyes are red and puffy, my face is flushed, my nose is running more than I'd care to admit, and my head is pounding. And, despite that the book is done, I can't say the same for my tears as they continue to stream down my face.
