𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐬

Chapter 9 - Nightmares from guilt

4:00 am

Onyx sat up abruptly in his bed breathing like he had run a marathon, startled by the images that played in his head whilst sleeping. His body was soaked in a cold sweat that let him know what he was experiencing was real. He squeezed his eyes shut to get the imagery to subside but failed horribly. His mother's death haunted him and he couldn't shake the loss whenever he was reminded of the way she went out. Nights like these were frequent and he hated every minute of it.

After many years of his father convincing him it wasn't his fault, he was able to cope. But not without turning cold from his mother being in an early grave.

He remembered the events leading up to her cause of death vividly. They had been driving from his school's gym after basketball practice and were having a conversation about his future. Onyx was explaining to his mother how he was going to be one of the greats when it came to the game of basketball. His mother felt his words and agreed with him; Onyx was indeed talented.

At 14 he was advanced in his skills and played like he was in college already. He was a freshman in high school and played for the varsity team. Scouts had their eyes on him calling him Michael Jordan's protege. Onyx ate everything up knowing he was the truth in what he lived and breathed.

After conversing back and forth about what colleges he had in mind they made a split decision to go to his favorite pizza spot. It was getting late but Onyx was spoiled and got whatever he wanted with no questions, his mother felt like he deserved the world and then some. The food was made fresh and always tasted great so they didn't mind waiting an hour for it to be done. Once it was, they grabbed the boxes and headed for the car to continue their journey home.

Onyx had the radio playing music full blast and had stolen a slice of pizza when suddenly the car was put to a halt, resulting in his mother's car being riddled with bullets. Bullets flew everywhere grazing him in the shoulder. He couldn't believe that through all of the gunfire he'd only been grazed. He thought it had to have been god or maybe his mother who tried to shield him effortlessly.

One clean shot to the head was all it took to end his mother's life at the age of 32 and it traumatized him. He had yet to tell his mother that he had gotten into some trouble with a rival gang of his father's but knew if he had, it would've come with greater consequences. He felt like if he hadn't kept it from her she would still be alive though.

He'd been selling work on the wrong turf and got too hot-headed, subsequently killing Geechi a high-ranking soldier of the organization True Kings. Onyx felt like he had threatened his image of toughness by embarrassing him in front of everyone that was on the block watching. He reacted in the best way he knew to recover from being humiliated.

Onyx wasn't scared of anyone or even fazed by catching his first body, but his mother and father put fear in him. It was evident in his energy when he realized that what he did could backfire by causing a war. Plus, get him in deep shit with his parents.

Onyx joining the organization his father had created was off-limits, they wanted him to make something of himself and be better than them giving their background. His mother Santana was beautiful and as solid as they came in terms of being a kingpin's wife. She had done her fair share of dirt along the way but her heart was gold and pure. No one ever questioned her loyalty because she'd proven herself to be loyal throughout her endeavors with people amongst her. She would give the shirt off her back designer or not and never told a soul she did because that's just the way she was.

Despite onyx's father being in his life, his mother was his teacher by nature due to her nurturing ways. Him seeing his mother die in front of his eyes broke him and it was all his fault or so he thought.