|| This Realm || Giyuu x reader

Chapter 26

"It's because i fucking like you." I didn't dare meet their gaze. I stared at the floor as they grew silent. I fucked up, i should've never told them. Too late to go back now huh.

"I like you y/n. But I'm so fucking scared about it that I've been pushing you away. I've been trying to get rid of these feelings because i'm scared. I'm scared that you're going to get hurt. That you're going to leave me like everyone else i've cared for." My voice slightly cracked.

"I'm scared that you're going to die one day and it would be all my fault. Just like the last times. I'm scared that I'm going to be weak and fail to protect you, the way i failed to protect them. I'm scared that you'll end up like them." I ran a hand through my hair, exasperated.

"I'm scared that I'm not good enough for you. That I'll never be what you deserve. So that's why-" i was cut off by a sudden force around me. My arms slowly wrapped around them, returning the warm embrace. I was careful not to touch their wounds. I haven't felt such a comforting touch in so long. I can't recall the last time someone hugged me like this. God it felt so nice though. So natural.

I buried my face in their neck, grasping their sweater tightly. My eyes glossed with tears that threatened to spill.

"God you're such a fucking idiot." I heard them say, before slapping me on the face. It stung and hurt like hell. I deserved it though i can't lie. Still i held my cheek and rubbed it, trying to numb the stinging.

"But as mentally ill as you are, i can't stay mad at you now. You do need to start seeing a therapist though." They chuckled dryly.

"Yeah probably.." i muttered.

"You know." They started again. "Someone told me that we should love till we die. Something as inevitable as death shouldn't stop us from loving." Their voice was soft, as if they spoke too loud it would shatter.

We should love till we die. The words repeated in my head over and over. They were right. Death would be an unavoidable part of life. Yet people grow, they love, they care, and they die. This whole time i was so stupid. These years I've been so afraid of a part of life, my past had clouded my judgement.

"I am a fucking idiot." I mumbled. They chuckled and rubbed my back soothingly.

"Yeah you are. You're damn lucky you recognized it though otherwise i would've knocked you out completely here and now and left you for the fish." I could feel their laugh from their chest, it rippled throughout our bodies. They had such a nice laugh, i want to hear it everyday. I want to hear their voice everyday. My gods I've missed this.

I laughed lightly, "Yeah i don't doubt it."

"Plus i'm pretty much a god, so don't worry about me dying." They laughed.

They let go of me and i reluctantly did the same. I could still feel the ghost of their touch linger on body.

I finally looked them in the eyes, I was relieved to see them smiling at me like they used to. I couldn't help but smile a bit myself. It was infectious.

"You're crying." They chuckled, looking at me amused.

"I am?" I questioned. I raised a finger to touch my cheek. Sure enough, it was slightly wet. Damn i don't even remember crying.

"Here." They reached out their hand to my face. Resting their palm on my cheek, they wiped away the tears with their thumb.

It took me a moment to register what they had done. Once it clicked, i looked away flustered. I could feel my face grow hot and i don't need them to see. Gods i love them so much. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Their hand felt so nice oh my god. I want them to hold my face like that again. Oh gods this is so embarrassing.