The Empress' Descent

Chapter 59 - The Empress Comes Back to Life

Apparently, the massive room we'd ended up in was located within the Grand Duke's castle. He had kindly presented us our rooms. Albeit restless and constantly wrecked with nerves, I dipped into slumber the moment I hit the bed. I'd managed a decent amount of sleep and woke up early in the morning.

Even in another region, Anya performed her maid duties as usual. She had a heated bath ready and assisted me in scrubbing the dried blood on my skin that was mostly on my neck and jaw.

In the bathing chamber was a vanity mirror and a sink. After I arose from the tub, I caught my reflection in the foggy glass and came up with an idea.

I sat on a chair before the vanity and let Anya cut my hair short. I didn't have to pretend as Clary anymore. To retain my original identity, I must drop this pretense of being someone else entirely.

Anya soundlessly did as she was told. Since Clary's brows were thicker than mine, she had to trim them. Since her hair was wavy and voluminous, she had to braid the sides to give off an illusion that it was straight. Though the ends still curled toward my jaw.

I gripped the sink tighter as I beheld the woman on the other side of the mirror. I pursed my lips, thinking whether there was something missing. Maybe not. There wasn't a lack, Anya had done well. But there's something about this face that I couldn't describe. This was Athelina... but also kind of not.

I couldn't stand Anya giving me the cold shoulder. So I turned to her and apologized.

"Forgive me," I swallowed. "For not telling you the truth."

Anya's brows jerked upward. "Why should you ask for my forgiveness?"

"Because I lied."

She shook her head. "There is a line between lying and keeping secrets. And sometimes, you have to keep these secrets to survive."

I huddled farther into my robe. "You're not mad."

It wasn't quite a question.

"I was just shocked, that's all." She adjusted my hair, smiling. "But when you cried, every ounce of confusion in me was swept away. You are not Clary nor are you Athelina. You're the Lady I am serving. Nothing's changed."

It's as though a wind had blown into my face. This odd feeling I couldn't describe, Anya couldn't have put it together more perfectly. I was not Clarisse, nor was I Athelina. I've grown apart from my old self. I am someone new. I'd learned to love and care and cry.

I laughed softly. "Oh I changed a lot all right."

"Perhaps." Anya caressed my cheek, gaping at me fondly. "I wouldn't have touched the fearsome Empress this casually. In your eyes is another kind of fullness. It's brighter. Whereas compared to the past you, your eyes were bleak and empty and... dead. You made everyone shiver when you looked at them."

I recoiled. "Was I really that of a terror?"

Anya chuckled as a response, leaving my question unanswered. "Come, Lady. You are to meet the Grand Duke's generals in an hour."

She dressed me in a scarlet gown with black silk laces. There wasn't a petticoat. I wore what Athelina—I would have worn. Besides, I wasn't attending a ball. A diadem gleamed on my forehead, studded with rubies and pearls. The Grand Duke gifted it to me to boost my authority. And on my waist was my sword. I was glad to be my own person again. This time, I knew I carried my decisions, my beliefs which were wholly mine.

The hall with walls of water dropping below was called the War Room. The noise of the water cancels out any sound from inside the hall. This was to prevent sneaking spies from hearing the meetings.