I scrolled and saw this on my feed, after a night of spending some time with both my best friends. Tweets came flooding like crazy on my notification. I shook my head in amusement.
I was having coffee at my terrace the cold breeze brushed past me as I get cozy sitting on the couch outside. A blanket draped over my leg. My phone still pinged with notifications lighting every now and then as I left it beside my mug.
Looking from afar it's been a year since. I sighed it doesn't hurt as it was back then but it stings a little. The pain would always be there and never fade I guess but when I see him being happy and smiling freely like that I am relieved. I made the right choice, a part of me would have wished for him but still being the person I am I would have done the same regardless of what situation I was in.
A year ago ... At the same terrace on the same couch.
"New, I'm letting you go" - Off
While huddled on a couch that was only for one person, with New half sitting on Off's lap and his arms snaked around the younger's torso. New flinched and faced Off, confusion written on his face.
"Why?Off?"- New
"You still love him, you still do even if you don't tell me I see it" - Off
He caressed New's cheek, a tear falling from New's eyes. He rubbed it with his thumb.
"Don't cry, I understand. I don't blame you I know you tried. I know you loved me as well but not the way you love him" - Off
"Off ... I.. " - New
"Ssshhh let me finish, just this time do this for me. If you can't do this for yourself do this for me. I don't want to see you regretting your chances. If you feel like going back to me I'll always be here, but I don't want to ruin your chance of happiness I would be happy If you pick me. Go on make me proud, those 2 years did us good and I am thankful you tried your hardest. You know I love you but it's time to let you go"- Off
He hugged me burying his face in the crook of my neck. My heart hurt but I knew it was the best decision to do. 2 years we've been together and we were happy, I was there when he had the hardest time of his life nursing a broken heart from his failed relationship with Tay. Eventually catching him from his fall but I can see, with those glances and chance meetings with each other.
He loved me but he loved him more.
Tay was the same he understood he distanced himself when knew there was something between me and New still he stayed the same but distanced himself into a safe space for me and New, I can see it in his eyes how he tried to avoid wavering in front of us. How painful it must be for him? To see someone he loved in the arms of someone he treasured as well.
" I knew he was in good hands, I knew he will be loved. I am happy that it is you Peng" - Tay
That is what he said to me when he first learned about us. He is genuinely happy but I can see the sadness in his eyes. I thought 2 years can change, 2 years can change something. But it was always the same. How many he loves me not and he loves me I had muttered for two years I was happy, he was too but at the back of my mind, it was always the fear of someone else's until I thought I had to stop being selfish and give him the love he deserved.
That was not me because it was always him...
Present ...
A ring woke me up from reminiscing our happy and sad memories. It was New calling.
"New it's late" - Off
"I know, stop drinking coffee at 3 am" - New
I chuckled he knew, he'd always New what I was up to.
"Don't laugh, it's not good for your insomnia. It does not help" - New
"I thought when you said yes to Peng you'd stop nagging at me" - Off
"Until you someone to take care of you, you'll hear my endless nagging. That's why I am telling you to date already your old" - New
"Stop rolling your eyes, you're ugly. Peng might back out when he sees you" - Off
" No take backs Peng!!"- Tay
I hear Tay faintly shout in the background. I laughed they were always like this checking up on me.
"Why are you two still up, don't worry when you wake up your still engaged you fools!" - Off
They were both laughing on the other line.
"You are required to bring a date for our wedding!!"- Tay
"Don't listen to Te, Thank you Off " - New
That stung a little but I knew he was sincere and I knew New those words meant.
"No problem New No problem. Now off you go to sleep, Peng please leave me alone and go to bed! You fool!"- Off
They just laughed at me.
" Goodnight Off " - New
" Yeah, Goodnight New Goodnight" - Off
The call ended and it was quiet again. The cold breeze and the bustling sounds of the streets were all there is. I snuggled warmly at the blanket closing my eyes. Hoping to wake up from the bittersweet memory of me and him.
"Yeah... I love you, so goodbye" - Off
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