3rd book the Devil May Care Series
Remember Lucas King? The suicidal kid who can barely stand to get up in the morning because he's just that tired of life? Lucas has struggled with depression since he was just a kid, always feeling like he was neve...
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TW: Self Harm
The cigarette against my skin usually feels like a wake up call—a reminder to feel something, anything even if it's just for a little bit. I watch as it sizzles against my skin, burning the flesh of my thigh. The burning should sting, it should hurt but it doesn't and frustration bubbles up in my chest at the lack of feeling. What the fuck was wrong with me?
My brows furrow as I stare down at the scar for a moment. Was it really that easy? Why didn't it hurt anymore? I let out a deep sigh before pushing my shorts back in place, glancing down from on top of the building. It was my first day here and I was hiding up in the roof because I wasn't a fan of being the new student. I had eyes watching my every move and the lack of freedom made me feel like a criminal. I hated being here.
My legs swing back and forth on the edge of the building but I hop up and start walking on the edge of it in boredom.
I hear the door behind me open but don't turn around to check, "What's with you being on the roof all of the time?" A deep voice asks and I recognize it as Lucas. He sounds less than amused and I already know he wants me to back away from the edge, "Aren't you scared of falling?"
I finally look up to meet his eyes, "I'm not scared of anything." I respond, my eyes raking over him. Once again he was wearing a hoodie and I couldn't remember a time where I saw him without one. His hood rested on top of his head his hands were tucked into the pockets and I wondered if he was cold. It was starting to get a little colder out but it seemed like it was something that brought him comfort. He seemed tired today as he leaned up against the wall lazily just watching me with exhaustion bright in those dark arises.
"Everyones scared of something." He murmurs.
I take a moment to think about that but still there is nothing I can think of that puts fear in my heart, "Not me. What are you afraid of?" I wonder, curiously.
Lucas gestures me to come over and I don't hesitate before taking his side, "I'm scared of losing my brothers," He tells me quietly, his eyes never leaving my face. "But I use to be scared of dying."
I lean in, "Really? You aren't afraid anymore?"
A small smile grows on his lips, "You're cute." He squeezes my jaw playfully, ignoring my scowl. "No, I'm not afraid anymore." He finishes, "What are you doing up here?" He asks, changing the subject.
"I was about to jump off the roof." I shrug, keeping my face straight.
He stiffens, "What?"
"Kidding," I smile as his shoulders relax, "I just don't like school. I've always hated going to school, I don't really get along with people." I explain, honestly. "I like being secluded and away from everyone else." My eyes find the edge of the roof again, my body practically itching to go over there.
