3rd book the Devil May Care Series
Remember Lucas King? The suicidal kid who can barely stand to get up in the morning because he's just that tired of life? Lucas has struggled with depression since he was just a kid, always feeling like he was neve...
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TW: SELF HARM
"Lucas."
I look back at my reflection, my brown eyes tired and haunted. I felt that familiar ache creeping its way back into me, that sinking feeling. The one that drains me of happiness and leaves me so hollow, it makes me want to die. I glance down at the tiny blade laying on the sink, my fingers twitching with the need to start slicing my skin.
My hands shake as I rake them through my hair, ignoring my brother whose called my name more than once. I could feel myself blocking the world out as I focused on what was in my head, the depression that couldn't remove itself from my soul.
I think about Astraea, fuck I couldn't stop thinking about Astraea. I hadn't spoken to her since that phone call and my heart ached as I thought about how fucking betrayed she sounded.
Milan had visited me once after and told me about what happened after the phone call and the guilt I felt kept eating away at me because I know all Astraea wants is for someone to love her despite how much she denies it. Milan was upset and he barely spoke to me but he did threaten to stop being friends with me if I go near Astraea again.
I swallow thickly, glancing down at the blade again except this time my wrists are bleeding. I feel my stomach roll, I hadn't noticed myself cutting. I didn't even feel the stinging. My ears ring, as I zone in and out—dissociating from the real world.
"Lucas!" I hear Loki call out again, finally slapping me away from my daze when I notice he's gotten into the bathroom. His skin is sickly pale as he stares down at my arms, his brows furrowing as he watches the blood trickle down my arm. "What are you doing?" He asks tightly, his posture stiff as he stands still. When I don't answer, he grows weary as he glances down at the medication I threw down the drain.
I look away, rinsing my arms down quickly. Loki never leaves, instead he watches me the whole time. "Lucas." He says again, his voice thick with emotion.
My jaw clenches, "It's fine."
"You can't keep doing this." Loki tells me, quietly. "You need to get some help, Lucas. We can talk to your therapist about finding you a new prescription."
My lips curl at that statement, "Everyone but you, huh?" Referring to Astraea and how he basically told her she was crazy.
His eyes darken, "You know she needs the help more than anyone." He tells me roughly, "Don't throw it in my face for trying to help someone I care about."
"Isn't that what you do to me and Roy all the time?" I shut the sink off, eyeballing the fresh scars on my arm as I continue to think about Astraea. I couldn't stop thinking about her
