Chapter 41: Understand
After nearly five minutes of walking down Park Avenue, I finally found the ideal location for the upcoming stirring confrontation. It wasn't as dark as I had hoped, but it was enough.
I casually slid my hands inside my burgundy, long trench coat pocket as I halted my feet. I could still feel him around, tailing like some predator hunting for food. Except that I was not the prey he should be haunting for.
"I just realized why this city was often called the city that never sleeps," I said, even though he was still hiding somewhere in the shadows. "Aside from the obvious fact that the streets never gets emptied, this city is where the dreams are made of. Everyone here is up to something. Everyone is looking for something. Everyone is a stranger. It's not so ideal to trust a stranger, is it?"
I slowly turned around to face the man standing beneath the lamppost. He was dressed in a hooded black leather jacket. He was looking me in the eyes.
"It's been a long time, Mr. Admiral. What brought you here?" I stood still, just staring back at him. "I must commend your bravery to show up in front of me after everything."
"I came here about Kathlysse..."
It was after he talked that I felt the cold that the heavy snow failed to make me. His voice was deep and unemotional. It almost sounded like this was the first time he had spoken for a long time.
"Alam na niya ang ginawa mo, Nathalia. Na ikaw ang kumuha ng scandal video at nagpakalat nito." Mula sa lamig at napalitan ng galit ang kanyang boses.
I nodded. "I wasn't too concerned about it, but how did you feel when you found out?"
I bet he got more affected than her. Did I just miss the most exciting part? What was his reaction when he first learned about that vile part of me?
He should be the one impressing me, but he ended up being disappointed in me instead. How funny is that? That's not how it works.
"Nathalia..." he said, his voice threatening. "That was really low of you."
"Are you here to punish me?" I pushed the irony further. "Go ahead, then. What is my punishment, Mr. Admiral?"
He started walking toward me. Nakatingin lang ako sa kanya. Sinubukan kong pasukin ang kanyang isipan, pero nung mapasok ko ay wala akong nalaman.
Kristan's thoughts were empty and hollow. There was nothing in it.
"W-why did you do that?" he asked.
From cold to enraged, he now sounded concerned.
"I just do random things when I'm bored," I explained in my weak voice. "Let's not pretend that scandal didn't help her career. Bad publicity is still publicity. I did her a favor after all."
"Not everyone is as desperate as you, Nathalia."
It only took him a few words to restore the wave of emotions that I had bled to control. Akala ko ay napahupa ko na ang lahat, pero ngayong kaharap ko na siya ay muli itong umapaw.
"Kathlysse showed nothing but kindness to you. She has always been on your side. I don't understand. Why is it so hard for you to trust?"
"How fucking dare you ask me about that when you've become one of the reasons I find it difficult to trust, Kristan?"
"I never turned my back on you."
"What is it, then?" My first balled up inside my trench coat's pocket. "Didn't you swear to stand by me no matter what? Where were you when I didn't have anyone? Where were you when I hoped for help?"
