My Lieutenant (Pt2)

Chapter Four

"MUMA!!!!"

I jump out of bed and race to my sons bedside holding him as he has yet another nightmare. I sit with Brodhi and rub his head gently and comfort him by showering him in affection. It has only been three days since Sam has left but Brodhi must sense that there is something wrong as he has been having nightmares and shouting for Sam, his muma ever since then. I try to hide my feelings and keep up a happy facade for him by telling his Sam is away playing football but he knows I am not being truthful. I had tried reaching out numerous times to Sam and even thought of dropping by the stadium but decided against it as I didn't want to push her too far. I give Brodhi a gentle kiss and then get out of his bed as he has dozed back off to sleep. I decide to go get ready early for work and make Brodhi a nice breakfast.

We have a hectic morning and Brodhi is hard work as he refuses to get dressed and drags his feet not wanting to go to school unless he sees his muma. I finally give in as we are sat on the floor at the door where Brodhi is sat shouting, having thrown his shoe up the stairs almost hitting me. I completely understand why his upset and it begins to make me realise that Sam needs to be here, she can't just leave her son. I grab my phone and begin to facetime Sam - Brodhi moves closer to me as he hears the dialing tone hoping to hear his muma. I reach out and embrace him as he waits excitedly for her to answer. I begin praying in my head for her too answer the phone for Brodhi's sake more than mine as he deserves it. I am about to give up and message her when the tone stops and Sam's face pops up on the small screen. She takes my breath away at the sight of her gorgeous face and beautiful blue eyes, she smiles brightly at the sight of Brodhi who sits between my legs making sure I am in shot. I try to smile and not stare at Sam as tears begin to well up in my eyes as they talk about where she has been and why she can't bring him to school anymore. I chime in here for some support from Sam.

"Well we have called this morning because someone has had a little tantrum and refused to get dressed so he had to be dressed like our little baby again and then he decided he wasn't leaving until you dropped him off so he chucked his shoe at me and sat shouting at the door."

Sam listens intently but only focuses on Brodhi. She must hear the exhaustation in my voice as she firmly gives Brodhi a telling off and instructs him to apologise and give me a hug and two kisses, one from him and one from her. EEKK! Has she forgiven me? Brodhi hands me the phone and goes to get his shoes and begins putting them on. I forget that Sam is on the phone for a split second before looking at her as she watches me. I give her a slight smile and then look away almost embarrased before she breaks the tension.

"I got your messages D but I can't do this. You hurt me soo much and I don't know will I ever be able to forgive you for that. You lied and broke my heart. But I still love you and I love my son and I want to be a part of his life no matter what."

I begin to let the tears slide down my cheek as I nod slightly understanding what I have done will never be able to be forgiven. I just manage to croak out an apology before Brodhi comes back and we both smile again.

"I will be back tonight buddy to tuck you in okay?"

Brodhi nods and says goodbye waving and blowing kisses. We rush to the car as we are late as usual and I can't help but message Sam and try to at least mend our friendship and have her involved in our family.

Sam it was really wonderful talking to you this morning not just for me but also for Brodhi. He really needed his muma today and you were there. I know what happened as impacted us and I accept that but please, don't give up on your son. You are welcome to come back home with us while we work through it all. I love you now and always.

I don't ever expect a reply from Sam now as I have learned over the last three days but I still get excited when I hear my phone ping hoping it is her.

                                                                                                   **************************************
After a really difficult day in work I walk out visibly upset and distraught at the situation into the carpark when I see a figure lurking near my car. Upon approaching my car, I realise who the figure is as they move towards me.

"Dani?"

"Sloane?"

We stare back at each other and I take in the woman standing in front of me witha short faded haircut, less muscular than before but completely covered in tattoos including on her two legs which is visible under her shorts. She gives a seductive smile when she sees me and looks at me hungrily.

"You look absolutely incredible. Like a fine wine eh?"

She giggles at her joke and looks seductively at me but only realises just how upset I am when I don't respond. She goes to move towards me, arms out to comfort me but I feel the heat and danger radiate from her and I panic. I swerve her and race to the driver side of my car and leave the carpark in a frantic rush to pick up Brodhi. My heart pounds out of my chest as I think about everything that has happened. Why would Sloane come here? What does she want from me? What can I give to make her leave? I will never go back to that situation again. That feeling of abandonment. The only saviour that I had in this world is Sam who allowed me to have the life I have always wanted for my son and I. That intense pain and hurt that had been subdued for so long begins to rise up in chest and I feel it begin to tighten.

Before I know what is happening, I pull into an off-licence just down the road from work completely consumed by my pain I forget my son and buy a bottle of vodka and go back to my car. I open the bottle swiftly and take a long, fulfilling swig before pulling the car out of the lot and continuing to drive towards nowhere. Images of Sam and Sloane flash before my eyes and I begin to swerve around the road as my vision begins to blur and I can no longer think clearly. The last thing I remember before it all goes black is my sons face and the panic that sets in before it all disappears...