My Lieutenant (Pt2)

Chapter Fourteen

'Hey handsome, how's the UK?'

'Mommy, it's amazing. Muma is bringing me to lots of football matches and I've met some players. I've also got cousins and aunts and -'

'MUMA! What is Joey called again? Inc - UNCLE! Yeah mommy, I have uncles too.'

I can't help but smile at my little man as he talks excitedly of his British adventures. It makes my heart swell to know he is having an amazing time but I also can't help but feel a little disheartened knowing he is so happy without me. I knew Sam and her family would be amazing to him but I can't help but miss him. A week I'd long enough but two weeks is beginning to feel like torture.

'That's amazing baby. You must tell everyone I said hello.'

Bodhi smiles and nods his head before putting the phone down and running off. I look about confused as he didn't say goodbye and left facetime on.

'Hello? Bodhi?'

Suddenly there's a gentle rustling before a pretty, dark skinned woman picks up the phone. She has curly hair and I immediately feel a surge of jealousy.  But I'm unsure of what I'm jealous of exactly. 

'Hi, I'm Dani. Bodhi's mum. Can you put him or Sam on please?'

'Hey, right you're Sam's ex. Sure just one sec.'

She has a strong British accent, a lot stronger than Sam's. But I'm already annoyed that she's referring to me as an ex. What did Sam do? Tell her whole family about what I did? What if they treat Bodhi differently as a result?

I hear the woman's accent again.

'Hey babe, Bodhi's mum is on the phone.'

I can't hold back and I pull a face and shout back.

'My name's Dani as I already said!'

Sam's face suddenly pops up on screening looking flushed as she seems to move to another room.

'Really Sam? Couldn't wait to get back and disclose information about our life and what I did eh?'

Sam looks confused before realising what exactly I'm talking about.

'Dani, look I'm sorry. Elena is like that, she's pretty protective and we reconnected when I came back so I've be talking to her about everything. I'm so sorry I didn't mean for her to talk to you like that or to even meet you like that. Bodhi is outside with his cousins.'

Sam turns to camera so I can see my son kicking a football around in the large garden with two older boys and a little girl. He seems so happy and I can't help but he grateful for everything Sam has given my son.

'He loves it here but he also misses you a lot. I miss you too. How's things with Sloane going?'

I stare into Sam's blue eyes and I know she's not being sarcastic. Only she could make you feel loved and so distant in one sentence. My mind races as I want to say I miss you too but I know I shouldn't. Not when she's gone to give me time to work on my relationship with my ex wife.

'Thanks for being the best muma to him Sam. Things are good, just getting to know each other again and seeing is everything still there or if we just need closure.'

Sam gives a sad smile before looking away from the camera. She puts the phone on mute but I see her speaking to someone and then that Elena girl kiss Sam. I snap my mouth closed and put my eyes back in my head when she unmutes the phone again.

'Sorry about that, I will get Bodhi to say goodbye.'

Still reeling from shock or anger or sadness or both. I object and get Sam to call me back later to speak to Bodhi instead and I can say goodnight.

After the call goes dead, I sit in the silent house and feel the emptiness grow. My whole world has crumbled and I'm still here holding on waiting for some intervention. I need someone to tell me what to do. I need someone to guide me. I feel so lost and so alone right now. My mind races at the thought if Sam moving on from me. Was it ever real? Did she really love me? Was she cheating on me all along? Was someone else back in the UK? Were they waiting all this time?

'Hey babe, I'm back.'

I snap my head around and see Sloane come in with her arms full of groceries and a bunch of flowers.

'For you, beautiful.'

She leans down and kisses me gently and gives me the flowers before unpacking all the groceries and begins to prepare dinner. I watch as she maneuvers around the kitchen like a pro and I can't help shake the feeling of comfort and familiarity.  It feels just like before - passion, desire and hunger. Our relationship burned wildly for each other but we were also aware at how destructive we were to each other.

Following a romantic dinner and sex, Sloane cuddles me closely as she sleeps. I can't help but reach for my phone and begin scrolling through Instagram. Before I even realise it I'm on Sam's page and looking at her photos. Lots of football pictures. Some of Bodhi and me. Some family pictures. Then Elena. I click on her link and notice she has images of her and Sam looking cosy and kissing. I scroll further and find they were a thing years before Sam moved to the US.

I am about to put my phone down when I notice an Instagram message. I click on it to find a message from Sam.

Sam: You're up late?

Me: Yeah. Struggling to sleep. Think I miss Bodhi too much!

Me: What time is it there?

Sam: We both miss you so much D. It's like 8.30.

Me: It's not like you to not have plans at this time on a Tuesday of your last week.

Sam: You know me too well D. But I am settling a bit more and realising what's more important and that's spending time with my family.

Sam: I'm sorry I wasn't better during our relationship D. You deserved so much better x

Me: That's good you've started that change for you. Don't change too much though! I kinda like the old Sam x

Me: I'm the one that ruined our relationship Sam. You were an amazing fiance and partner and you will always be Bodhi's other muma

Sam: I don't know how to feel about everything D. I left to allow you grow a relationship with Sloane but I'm so jealous and want to have you back again. But I know that we need to move on but I am struggling when you're the first and last person I think about every single day.

I read the message and silent tears stream down my face as Sloane pulls me tighter against her. I can't help but feel a little guilty for how I'm feeling but I need to be true to who I am and what I want. And for now, I'm still not sure who or what I want except for Bodhi. I just know that both make me feel loved and wanted.

Me: I love you too Sam.