*MATURE CONTENT WARNING*
"If my classroom is your playground, then your body is mine."
Dr. Zaain Kazem is a cold and routine Palestinian-Canadian professor with something to hide.
Adeola Adebayo is a sharp, international student running from a broo...
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141 Water Street #503 00:40 AM 9 1/2 weeks until the end of the semester
This predicament with Adeola is truly an enigma.
I don't understand how she's able to do this to me so easily. She brings out something in me that I am reluctant to acknowledge as a part of my being.
I'm not usually like this. It's always taken me a while to build a genuine sexual attraction towards a woman. I only feel the desire for her body and her sex, after getting to know her throughout a period of time.
So the way that Adeola makes me feel perplexes me and makes me question myself and my rigid moral code of which I hold myself to much esteem.
I consider myself apart from men who find nothing wrong and even take pleasure in going cross-eyed over random girls, only viewing them as walking holes just waiting to be conquered. Emblems of their own sexual determination. Never have I felt the need to stick myself inside hundreds of women for my own personal satisfaction or to prove something to myself or to others, and I hate that we have socialized that to be the new norm.
It makes me wonder if such men even like women at all...
And sure, it hasn't come to that. Obviously, being enchanted by Adeola and her bountiful beauty is very different from wanting a baseless hookup, but nevertheless, Adeola's case is still highly unusual.
For clarity's sake, it's not at all a surprise that I am attracted to her, only how quickly the attraction occurred.
I don't know what to feel about it. I'm not used to unfamiliar feelings. I'm not even sure what I feel about not knowing how I feel. It's very odd but somehow not unpleasant.
Maybe it's because of her disposition in front of all of this. She seems totally comfortable with what has been building between us.
Something about her is so soothing. I feel like she's okay that I am who I am and she even likes it. That's so new to me.
My past partners tried many times to nudge me into change, some less subtly than others. I was never just acceptable how I was. It was always something. I was once told, 'You have so much potential' by my last love.
As if I were a car in need of an upgraded engine. 'But I like myself how I am, so why can't you?' I asked her, but I never received a response.
I soon got used to being so utterly imperfect that my insecurities clouded my perception of my self-worth.
They would inadvertently tell me how they hated how I was 'so serious'.
Or it was the way I wore my hair— my curls.
Or it was my routine. They would induce spontaneity in my life to force me out of it for reasons I am still unsure of.
