The Red Light Kiss

22

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22

''Can I get a hug? I'm really, really tired today, Shien...''

I looked at him who's looking at me with such heavy eyes. Hindi ko maiwasang maawa at makonsensya. I was irritated before he came here. Iritadong iritado ako at pinaramdam ko iyon sa huling text ko sa kaniya. Is it the reason why he's here?

"Sana nagpahinga ka na lang, Hassen... Bakit ka pa pumunta dito?"

I rubbed my thumb on his cheek. He only smiled. I don't know why I got the idea but he looks troubled and problematic, aside from looking tired. May problema ba sa trabaho?

"Ah," he groaned. Tumingala siya at napapikit. I noticed how his adam's apple moved as he swallowed. "Come again, baby? What did you say?"

''Ang sabi ko, sana nagpahinga ka na lang,'' mapanuya kong wika. I poked his head but he only smiled. ''Uwi ka na. Usap na lang tayo bukas...''

''You're still mad.''

''I'm not.''

''Hmm? I chickened out when I've read your text. You're mad. I'm sorry I didn't text you back...''

''Let's talk tomorrow, please? Anong oras na... Pagod ka. Sana nagpahinga ka na lang imbes na pumunta pa rito. I don't know why you prioritized my anger more than yourself...''

''It's you, Joshien, more than anyone else. Una ka palagi," aniya. ''Where's my hug? Hmm?''

Napanguso ako dahil sa pagpipigil ng ngiti. My heart pounded so much. Hindi ko alam kung kinakabahan ba ako o nagkakagulo ang mga paru-paro sa tiyan ko.

Unti-unti, pinilig ko ang kaniyang ulo papunta sa aking balikat. He rested his chin there.

''Hmm...''

We stayed like that for minutes until I heard his peaceful breathing. Slowly, I started to caress his back, hoping for my touch to give him comfort. Tuluyan nang nawala at naubos ang iritasyong nararamdaman ko kanina at napalitan na lamang ng awa para sa kaniya.

"Magpahinga ka rin minsan... Hindi puwedeng palagi kang pagod. Hindi puwedeng palagi kang kumikilos. It wouldn't make you any less of a public servant if you choose to rest."

I heard him sigh. Pinulupot niya na ang kaniyang kamay sa aking bewang, nakayakap na. Halos makiliti ako nang maramdaman ang kaniyang mainit na katawan sa akin.

"Something came up at work. Nagka entrapment operation sa isang fast food chain malapit sa city hall. Two were involved. Parehong empleyado ng city hall," panimula niya. He sounded troubled and disappointed. "They begged me not to send them in jail. May pinapaaral daw na anak. May binubuhay na pamilya. But what can I do? They were caught-in-the-act accepting ₱600k, as a downpayment at that. Para mapabilis ang transaksyon ng business permit ng kliyente nilang kurap."

"Did... you send them in jail?"

I felt him stiffened.

"Oo, Joshien... I'm sorry. Kailangan nilang managot sa batas. Walang puwang ang kurapsyon sa administration ko."

"But how about their family and children? Katulad ng sabi nila, may binubuhay silang mga anak at pamilya..."

Nakatungo pa rin siya ngunit ramdam ko ang pag-aalinlangan sa kaniya ngayon. I felt like he didn't like what he do but he can't do anything about it because... it was the law they had to follow.