try-hard •sunki au•

twelve

“What do you plan for your birthday?”

Riki looked up from his computer, seeing Jay leaning on the doorframe of his room. He tilted his head a little and saw Jake already sitting on his bed.

“Stop playing and talk to us,” Jay demanded.

Riki disobidiently turned to his computer and continued the game he was currently playing.

“You should go and plan Sunghoon's birthday, it's in two days,” Riki said, eyes never leaving the monitor.

“It's already planned. Let's talk about yours,” Jake said.

Riki didn't speak and pretended like he heard nothing.

“Riki, don't wait for me to turn that off myself,” Jay warned.

Riki pursed his lips, “What do you plan on doing for my birthday, then? It's nothing important.”

“Let's have a family dinner, at least,” Jay tried.

“I don't want to,” Riki quickly declines. “Let's just not celebrate it like the past years, can we?”

“We celebrated it, you just didn't attend the ceremonies,” Jake said. He stood behind Riki and played with his hair, all the while watching the monitor.

“Can't you just exclude me on your plans again?” Riki asked.

Jay sighed, already giving up on his quest to make Riki meet his parents. He's been trying every chance he could get, but he knew he can't push further. He was not oblivious of Riki's jealousy on him and his family. He knew Riki has a lot of hidden emotions towards him.

“It's a three days out of town, then,” Jay said. “We'll leave tomorrow, kindly pack your things. It will be just the four of us, Heeseung cannot come.”

Jake gave Riki's cheeks a soft pinch before leaving with Jay.

Riki stopped clicking on his keyboard, letting his character die on the game. He just stared at the big DEFEAT letters on the screen, sighing as he leans back on the chair.

He picked up his cellphone on the table and tried ringing his Mom. It took five rings until the number becomes unattended. Riki threw the device back on the table. He stood up and flopped himself on the bed, he stared at the ceiling.

His Mom has stopped answering his calls eversince he turned eighteen. It's been almost five years and Riki didn't know any news about her. She's been using the same number but she never picks up any call. Riki have tried using different numbers and used scam texts, but she never fell for it.
The only time she texted back were every Riki's birthday. It was just a simple greeting, not even an “I miss you”. Riki knew she is still in Korea, even though she told him she will be back to Japan.

Riki was ten years old when he meet Jay and his family. He felt envious whenever they see them complete and happy. While there he was wondering why couldn't he meet his Dad. Although he feels utter greatfulness that he has such a loving and caring mother, he couldn't help but dream of having a Dad as well.

He wanted to have a complete and happy family too.

He was twelve when his mother left him at Jay's family. She told him she will work at Japan and Riki believed her. He was still too young to understand what's happening and no one ever told him about the truth.

He was fifteen when he discovered the truth. His Mom was Jay's Dad's former secretary. He was conceived after a one night mistake. Jay's Dad is his Dad too. Meanwhile, his Mom was sent to a different branch of their company where she is given a higher position.

It was why Riki cannot have a complete and happy family like Jay. He was just a one night mistake that almost ruined Jay's perfect family. Riki felt guilty of the things he was innocent at. Although Jay's Mom have treated him very well, he couldn't help but feel bad—about himself and his existence.

He started rebelling since that day, leaving the mansion and trying to live alone. Jay followed him, supported him and stood beside him until today.

Riki have also stopped celebrating his birthday since then. It's just nonsense. A mistake should never have a celebration.

Who's stupid enough to celebrate a mistake?

Well, Jay. Jay keeps on celebrating Riki's birthday. It was one reason why Riki looked up to his half-brother the most. He couldn't hate him, he couldn't leave him. Jay is the only person who showed him that he is a mistake worth of celebration.

+++

“Why can't you come with us?”

Heeseung looked up from the book he was reading, seeing Jake already taking a seat in front of him.

“It's Sunghoon's and Riki's birthday, why won't you come?” Jake repeated the question.

Heeseung kept silent as he watch Jake opens his chemistry book. He wasn't looking at Heeseung as he was taking notes of something.

“It'll be the first time Riki is celebrating his birthday with us,” Jake spoke again.

“I'm running for Summa, I can't have enough absences,” Heeseung simply replied.

“Me too, but I still can go,” Jake said. He finally looked up and meet Heeseung's gaze, who quickly looks down on his own book.

“Stop creating lame reasons and just go with us. I will not force you to talk to me, but at least be there for Riki,” Jake spoke.

Heeseung didn't said a word.

Riki has grown accustomed to him too. He was like a younger brother to Heeseung. In fact, he knew most of the negative emotions Riki has been hiding. The younger choose to come to him everytime he's feeling low and Heeseung cared enough to be there for Riki. He was the main reason why Heeseung cannot leave their apartment even after his heartbreak.

In the end, Heeseung still finds himself packing his things and going with them on the three days out of the town. He told himself he was there for Riki, and not to watch how Sunghoon make a move to the person he still loves.

tengyu_