Some Lonely Feeling ✧ H.S. A.U.

Chapter 9;

I grasp my bottle of water the best of my abilities, but it soon becomes harder as I struggle to keep a firm grip on it due to my vigorous shaking that had interrupted my sleep. Another dream. These dreams were starting to happen far too often, and were beginning to become a concern of mine. I took my long hair in my hands tugging it behind, letting collapse down my to my lower back. I sat my bottle down, taking in a deep slow breath, as I stood myself up cautiously. 

I walked over to a closet, close to the entrance of my bathroom, prepared to retrieve something out of it. I padded my way into the kitchen, tugging out a brown chair into my hallway. I always loved this apartment actually. There were enough windows to make natural light fill the house instead of lamps, which I didn’t really mind anyway. I liked it. I stood on the tip of my toes, feeling my large shirt raise up a bit to reveal the black shorts I had on under it.  The tips of my fingers were grazing the edge of the box, but I struggled to get a good grip on it. I attempted standing up higher, and finally I successfully got hold of it. I pulled it down slowly, dust flying off into the air as I eased each leg of the seat off the chair.

I crept into the living room quickly. I made my way across the space to open a window, considering it was getting really stuffy in here. I hated opening them though. There was too much noise outside that I didn’t like, but it was my best option if I wanted some fresh air. I sat the blue casing onto my coffee table, sitting myself onto the couch.

But I was soon interrupted by a knock at the door. An aggravated sigh escaped my mouth, but I tried my best to sound pleased, “Coming,” I said barely loud enough for the visitor to hear. I opened the door, ashamed at how shitty I looked, “Oh hey!” I laughed softly, “I thought you were coming later…”

“I had to now, cause I’m busy later,” he replied smiling lightly and shrugging, “I’m sure you don’t mind that I’m here,” Harry joked playfully, “You don’t do you?” I didn’t.

“No, c'mon,” I said directing him inside, not that he needed help finding his way around.

Somehow in the past few weeks I had become really close to Harry. We had talked a lot, but the topics hadn’t gone into anything too personal, unless we were sort of joking, “What’s this?” He asked pointing downward at the box I had gotten out.

“Nothing,” I sighed joking a bit, “I’ll look at it later…” I knew he would open it, I thought as he flipped the lid off of it, “Oh.”

“Mmm,” he muttered under his breath, “Niall?”

“Yeah,” I smiled, “I don’t know, I was in the mood to look at them.”

I went over to the couch sitting beside him, rather close. Closer than I usually did, “You never did get around to telling me about him,” he strung on, “I fell asleep, remember?”

“No,” I said, “You were obviously more sober.”

He flipped through the images, “You guys took stupid pictures,” he laughed.

I involuntarily snapped, “Nuh uh,” I scowled slightly offended. It was then I realized how embarrassing it actually was, because he was just joking.

“I’m just kidding,” he smiled stopping at one; “Really?” he asked laughing.

“What?” I said unable to control the smile that had spread across my face.

“He’s in the bathtub,” he uttered, his words skipping through light laughs.

“I know,” I paused smiling, “See he,” I laughed quickly, “See it was Halloween, and I somehow had convinced him to let me put makeup on him, and for some reason that night, I had the urge, for some reason… to take a picture of him in the bath. I don’t know,” I explained chuckling.

“This one’s funny too,” he said smiling, and pointing to me, “I’ve never seen you smile like this,” he said nudging slightly at another one in his other hand.

The first one was Christmas, and Niall and I had gotten drunk, and we were making really stupid faces, and the other was just one Jade had taken or something when she caught us both off guard, “I know,” I said as a wave of silence washed over between us, “I miss him ya’ know?” I shrugged still smiling, because for some reason at this moment, I felt alright with talking about Niall.

“I figure,” Harry said, “Look at all these,” he smiled sitting just the beginning of pictures he had seen on top of the much larger pile, “You guys looked happy.”

“Yeah…” I smirked proudly.

Harry looked at me, but my view remained forward in one direction, “What was he like?”

“I don’t know,” I thought for a second. How do you explain someone? Like, there are too many things to say... “I guess he was really sweet… That sounds cheesy,” I laughed.

“No it doesn’t,” Harry murmured making little sound, sitting his hand on my knee.

I put my hand on his, slowly moving it off. I tried to ignore the awkward feeling following, “He was funny,” I said, “Um, but I guess all girlfriends say that right?” I snickered, “He, well, he was social… really social. He liked to go out, and loved to get invited to things,” Harry laughed softly, making me look over at him quickly with a smile. I couldn’t help but direct my view to his hands, “But yeah, I don’t know.”

“I’m sorry,” he said; a sudden wave of seriousness spreading onto his face.

 I sat thinking for a minute, “You know,” I paused, “I have videos of him. But I haven’t worked up the courage to watch any of them,” I finished looking over at Harry, locking eye contact.

“Then why not now?” he asked, “Do you want to now?”

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