Some Lonely Feeling ✧ H.S. A.U.

Chapter 22;

It starts a bit slow, but near the end is worth it.

**

"Hi!" her blue eyes were beaming with excitement. Surely it wasn't because of me. No, probably just because she was invited to this party. Large crowds were her favorite thing, "Oh my god, I haven't seen you in like forever!" she said putting her hands on my shoulders. She was so pretty. She had so much natural beauty. She was clearly skinnier than me, which she was happily showing off in a light pair of skinny jeans tattered on the left leg. Her black t-shirt had no sleeves, and was ripped from the armpit down to just barely above where her jeans started. Under this, she wore nothing but a lacy white bra; something I would never have worn in public, let alone a party, "How are you?"

"Hanna, I'm fine," I laughed in a very low fake tone, clearly not as enthusiastic as she was. Believe it or not, Jade, her, and I were all best friends there for a while. Unlike Jade and I, knowing each other through all of childhood though, Hanna was added into the circle when we all were about fourteen, "How about you?"

She took her hands off me, waving her hand in a casual way, "Oh who cares about me," she rolled her eyes jokingly, "Hi!" she greeted someone else standing behind me, "Claire, by the way, I heard about Niall! Oh my, it was everywhere- I'm so sorry to hear about that. It must've been awful for you-"

"Yeah, let's not talk about it," I interrupted her. I was tired of the topic. The only time I wanted to think about it was when I was calm, and alone.

"I get it," she laughed, "Well, we can catch up later! The nights early!" she exclaimed, "You should call me some time by the way! See ya'!" she said waving me goodbye, turning around so fast that her long blond hair, almost the length of mine, fanned behind her as she confidently walked away. Hanna was genuinely a nice person, and that was my favorite thing about her. It was sad how often she was taken advantage of though. She was so welcoming, and with the huge attractive factor she carried around, she gave many boys the opportunity to use her, but she never seemed to learn.

I stood there for a second, thinking of whether or not I should leave now. If I wasn't so bored, I wouldn't have showed up at all. Big crowds made me uncomfortable, and socializing was so shitty; I couldn't stand it, but I had nothing better to do. I adjusted my hair which was still straightened from earlier when I visited Jade. It felt good being dressed up for something. I wore a dress to my parents house a week ago, but I didn't bother with makeup. I took a deep breath, deciding to force myself inside. Of course someone just had to be running out with a cup of beer or something that smelled awful, just barely missing me, "Sorry," he obnoxiously laughed pushing past me to some girl across the street.

"Yeah, whatever," I whispered to myself sarcastically.

When I got inside it was a lot less crowded than I had expected. I had a sudden realization then, after standing there briefly. One, was that I hated all of these people, and secondly that I had no one to hang out with. I felt as if I should've been nervous, or embarrassed, but I felt really nothing, because after thinking about it for a second, I realized I didn't care one bit what any of them thought. I licked my lips, pushing through a few people, going past the kitchen, and out the backdoor, where I found everyone finally. There was music playing really loud, but I was clueless to where it was coming from. Why was there a party in July, when school was a month and a half away? But after thinking about it, I pretty much accepted the fact that I was one of the few people that didn't like or talk to anyone, so it made sense. Really actually no one liked each other here either though, and that was the main reason I hated them all. They were fake.

It was embarrassing to watch them try to socialize. There was far too many people, considering they were squeezed into a constrained area with the picket fence and all. It seemed that couples were kissing, or grinding, or touching at every corner. It seemed about right, considering all or half of them probably came to this party to get drunk and laid regardless, and if they weren't then after getting wasted it was going to happen. I grew tired of seeing the disgusting behavior, and soon decided to go back inside to get away.