Tanging Dahilan (Daylight Series #2)

Chapter 18

Four letters, one word but put a lot of empact to us. Seeing her this close made all the memories come back. My inner child's cry and begging her not to leave because they were too young. Andrei was too young to never experience being taken care by his mother. How I wanted to stopped myself from studying and just worked to help her father.

"Sino siya, ate?" Andrei asked like he really did buried our mother on his mind.

"Mga anak ko..." She mumbled.

Tears began to fell on her eyes, she was about to go near us but I stopped her. Ibang-iba na siya sa Mama na naalala namin. She wasn't the mother we used to love before. She change. I wanted so much to hugged her but my anger stop me from doing it. It build up inside me. Para bang lahat ng hinanaing sa buhay ko ay gusto kung ibuhos sa kan'ya.

Lahat ng mga iniwan niyang memorya sa akin, gustong kumawala. It wasn't a good memory she leaves us, it was painful and traumatic. Na pati ang paniniwala ko ay na-apektuhan dahil sa kan'ya. She is selfish.

"What are you doing here?" I coldly said.

She looked at me with the softness of her eyes. It was like she longed for us, for years. The wants of her to saw us was visible on her eyes. Sa paraan ng pagtingin niya sa'min ay para bang gusto niya kaming hawakan. But no... She will only deceive us. She will leave eventually.

"Alam kung ikaw 'yong nakita ko sa simbahan, Maxandrea." Mahinahong sabi niya.

"Ano naman ngayon? Does it matter?" Nakataas ang kilay ko.

"Magpapaliwanag ako, Andrea... Let Mama explain, please?" Nakikiusap na sabi niya.

Her both hands was covering her mouth, trying to stop her cries. Tuloy-tuloy lang ang buhos ng luha niya at hindi niya mapigilan 'yon. I used to love her, pero nabawasan na 'yon no'ng iwan niya kami. Sobrang sakit ng ginawa niya na kailangan ko pang magmakaawa, para lang hindi niya kami iwan.

The liquid in the corner of my eyes was starting to fall. Kung magsasalita ako ngayon, alam kung tutulo na ang luha ko. My heart was breaking seeing her tears, but it made me more broken after knowing that my brother, buried her on his memories.

"What would you explain to us, Ma? I begged you to never leave us! Pero anong ginawa mo? Iniwan mo parin k-kami..." My voice broke.

She keeps nodding her head while still crying. "I know... Aaminin kung nagkakasala ako. Pero ginawa ko lang naman 'yon kasi gusto ko maramdaman ang masaganang buhay. I wanted to have a life that your father never let me experience!"