Ancient's Smashing Reviews

[Wall of Shame] Silent Exiles by @UenoyamaRitsuka

(this is how I make notes as I read. I didn't bother formatting it into a proper review. You will see why.)

+ idea is interesting. Princess dethroned and exiled. Parents killed. This spells political intrigue and if she gets support we could have a nice war to retake the throne. Or she could set up her own new kingdom or join another and strengthen it from within. Lot of interesting directions to possibly go.

+ The story is structured into clear arcs and each chapter has multiple parts, so the chapters are more divided by accomplishment and their own mini-arc then by wordcount.

- Not a fan of how the introduction of the Arc spoils the crap out of everything. Why even bother reading the story when you know what happens?

? Not a fan of how the first chapter starts. It isn't bad as necessary information is given and very quickly, and some of it is relevant to what is currently happening. She is traveling from one location to another and so is reflecting on the life before and the prospective life after. The embodiment of this transition does warrant reflection. That has it going for it. But it isn't good either because it is a bit much and on the nose, so could use a bit shaving off what isn't immediately relevant.

- Having the first encounter be where supposedly it was unheard only for police to show up seconds after stuff finishes like a bad World of Warcraft raid, really makes no point to having been there to begin with and so defeats the purpose of... well anything. It barely even adds to the value of the world. Personally I'd have been consistent with the idea of no one hearing it, or if they did, then they looked in the wrong place. Otherwise it destroys the point of the character ever having been there.

- main character is a girl summoner in a new town looking for a person. A guild vs guild sorcerer competition. Names you could rip out of any fantasy anime. The guild fighters being a group of three where the girl is a tough bossy redhead and the other two are guys who bicker. (we later find one uses ice.) A random bet for no reason to disband the whole guild if they lose a basic fight. The first guy the main character encounters pulling him into his group with a fake promise and smile that uses fire, and he is a kidnapper. Rescued by a member of the guild.  A story named after the guild she joins. The first "episode" ending as soon as the bad guy is punched with ice. Yeah this is Fairy Tail. So much so I am stunned. This isn't fanfiction, this is an attempt at an original story that is exactly, second by second, an almost perfect copy of another popular media. I am out. I do not support plagiarism.

------ story time -------

Now lets make a point.

So while I was reading it, I was finding the story rather cute. It had a clear influence of anime and it had some good things going about it. However, as the first chapter continued on and on and on (it was fairly long) a lot of facts were lining up. It wasn't so much a single thing so much as the pattern. One thing is an occurrence. Two things is a coincidence. Three times is a pattern. But this pattern just kept going no matter what I could think otherwise. It was a complete play-by-play copy of Fairy Tail episode 1, with 1-2 scenes added in. Not even fanfiction does a complete play-by-play this closely without being considered rather cheesy, and I have read fanfiction for years. I dont have a problem with fanfiction. I love them. However, this story was marked specifically as an original piece. The author was claiming the story as being original and his own while just repeating another story scene by scene, detail by detail, moment by moment, practically from beginning to end.

That is still plagiarism.

That is also lying. I consider lying to be both cowardice and narcissistic. It is cowardice because the person lying is too afraid to face reality and the truth they live in. You cannot grow to improve when you cannot know the reality of it, and so the liar would rather lie and hide than grow and step into the world they live in. It is also narcissistic to lie because in order to succeed in a lie you have to make it smarter than anyone can ever see, or else you are caught in the lie as someone will call you out on it. Liars therefore think they are smarter in crafting the lie than not just one person, but everyone, who might unravel it. That is straight narcissism. That is cowardice.