I immediately ran to my dorms as soon as he left. I didn't care if I was being vulnerable. His words had weight to them. I knew they were somewhat true. But I didn't want to believe it. I wanted to do everything I could to deny it. I went into the showers and turned the water on. I was still in my clothes but I didn't care. I cried and I think I even broke down to the floor at one point. I don't remember. All I remember is that after about an hour, when I finally came out, changed, and was combing I hair. I looked in the mirror. Tear stained face, glassy eyes, wet, flat hair, and puffy cheekbones. And most hauntingly, a monster. The female version of Voldemort, waiting to pounce at you.
It wasn't just the fact that I betrayed him and his trust. It was the fact that I knew I would react this way if it happened to me to. I did this, knowing the effect it had on people, and that made me even more upset. I also knew that this wasn't the only thing making me cry. It was other events that happened in the past and they're just getting the opportunity to get out now.
I wipe my tears away and try to compose myself and I head back to the girls dormitory.
The next morning...
I wasn't feeling well when I woke up. I really wasn't. I wasn't that upset anymore to be honest. I'm pretty sure I got that all out last night. I'm just generally not feeling well. So I ask Hermione to tell the professors I'm sick and that I won't be coming. I also asked her to bring a copy of the homework so I could do it.
During the day I kind of just laid down and read. However, one thought passed through my mind just once...
Apologize to Mattheo Riddle. For real this time.
Gosh, fuck me, this is going to be difficult. You know what, it can wait for laaaaaater. I've already been pushing off the egg thingy for the second task. And I need to find a date to the Yule Ball, and no way in hell am I taking Ron.
The weekend...
"I don't want to go to Hogsmeade!" I complained.
"Seriously, I really don't. You guys go, we can go together next week. I promise!"
"Ok fine," Hermione finally gives up after trying to convince me for 5 minutes.
"But don't do anything stupid."
WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP TELLING ME THAT!
It's nice being alone. Practically everyone has gone to Hogsmeade so I get to wander around the school. I end up in the abandoned school bathroom. It's nice, being alone. Or at least I think I'm alone.
Third person POV:
**Cringe Warning**
"Hey." Tyler says.
Snow turns around and sees him. No fear is apparent on her face, but she feels the rapid beating of her heart in her chest.
" Stupid stunt you're pulling, being here, all alone." His voice was slightly slurred and his eyes were slightly bloodshot, telling Snow he was high. She knew better then anyone being near Tyler when he was high was a bad move. Without saying anything she tried to make her way out of the vicinity of Tyler.
"Ay where are you going? I got.. I go-I got questions to ask." He struggled to speak as he blocked the doorway.
"Tyler, get out of the way before I make you." She sounded monotonous, but she didn't have her wand, and without it there was nothing she could do against Tyler.
"Why do you even try? It ends up badly for you."
"Try doing what exactly Tyler?"
"Doing something decent. All the things you've done have a selfish reason behind it. Mattheo was right about you becoming Lord Voldemort. "
"Ho-How do you know."
"I was there. It was hilarious actually. I never thought about it that way to be honest, but hey, you learn something new every day."
Remember how Snow said he had a way with words? Well Tyler was high, he had no idea what he was saying, and he wasn't able to make it make sense, but once again, his words were a reminder to how horrible Snow thought she could be. This time, she wasn't angry, she was filled with rage. The once peaceful feeling she felt disappeared as she brushed past Tyler harshly and headed to her dorm. Once she reached her bed, she didn't even cry. She wasn't sad, she was angry. At Tyler, Mattheo, even Harry. But mostly, she was angry with herself. She went to sleep soon after that to subdue the pain, and the last thing she remembers is breaking a vase on the floor;the feeling of tears of RAGE filling her eyes and feeling like her chest were burning embers of fire, the feeling of being stampeded on her chest.
OK BEFORE I SAY WHAT I KNOW YOU ARE GOING TO SAY, I KNOW IT'S CRINGY. IT IS MY FIRST FF EVER AND I'M JUST TRYING TO MAKE IT SOUND EMOTIONAL AND SHIT. BUT YEA. So thank you for reading! I hope you liked it. Please vote if you feel like it!
Word count: 884
YOU ARE READING
Hate the Feeling; Mattheo Riddle
Fanfiction"SNOW, SNOW WAIT! Please, you know I love you. You feel it too, you told me!" His eyes had a pleading look to it. His hand grabbed my arm and put it on my heart. "You must feel that!" "That's where you're wrong, I don't feel the fear of it anymore...
