"SNOW, SNOW WAIT! Please, you know I love you. You feel it too, you told me!" His eyes had a pleading look to it. His hand grabbed my arm and put it on my heart. "You must feel that!"
"That's where you're wrong, I don't feel the fear of it anymore...
I was shocked by my surroundings when I woke up until I realized I was safe and in Mattheo's dorm. I quickly realized what happened last night. I turned around, and saw that Mattheo wasn't there. I breathe a sigh of relief when I see he isn't there. Thank god no awkward encounters.
I turned around and see on the clock that the time is 8:30 a.m. I groan and get up and fluff my hair out. I decided to leave to freshen up. There was no sign of Mattheo in the room or restroom so I headed in there. I just fluffed and combed my hair out with my fingers before heading outside where I bumped into Mattheo. I look up at his face to see him have a blank expression on his face.
"OH uh.... Hi Mattheo. Look... uhm. Thanks for letting me stay but I should REALLY get going. But uh, seriously, thanks for yesterday, I needed it. Bye!" I didn't know what to say after is confession or whatever yesterday. What's worse was that deep down, I knew I felt the same way, but I didn't know what to do about that. Before I could leave though, Mattheo blocked my exit.
"Uh....Mattheo... can I go please?"
"Look, about yesterday.... I'm sorry. That confession or whatever came out of nowhere and I-"
"Oh no no no! You- you don't need to apologize uh-" I was feeling really flustered. "I mean, this isn't really that it's just uh... well, it's mostly just.... a lot to take in I guess."
"Uh.... yea yea cool. Uhm... Are you ok? I know yesterday was harsh and all."
"Oh, Loren uh..." The sound of his name tenses me up.
"God I'm an idiot. I'm sorry. I'll figure something out and let you know ok?"
"Oh, yea for sure. And uh.... thanks... once again."
I ran out of the Slytherin dorms like the fucking Flash after that and I made it to my dorm.
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Once I made it there, I thought of Sirius, me and Harry's godfather. He was an amazing person I met last year when I visited and honestly, I felt like telling someone about this. So I wrote a 5 page letter to Sirius telling him about recent events, school, the tournament, and yes, my relationship with Mattheo. My owl, Mackie, wasn't happy in slightest for having to carry such a load, but after giving me ten thousand pokes, she left.
I sighed and jumped backwards on my back. There was still about a day until everyone came back from the holidays, and so I had lots of time to think for myself. My mind immediately went to stupid Loren and Tyler. I went through Tyler, all over again. I also noticed a pattern in my behavior. I get sad about an event, then I get angry and lash out, and then I bury it inside until it rises again. I just wish I would let myself slip JUST ONCE. I know it isn't healthy to convert my sadness to anger, but it just happens.
However, my mind decided to torture me and play back the events with Loren today. Now that the sadness stage has passed, it has been replaced by anger. But it wasn't that anger that made you feel stupid, it was that anger that sustained you, and for once you were actually happy that you were mad at the person who deserved it, if that made sense. Of course this feeling came with other things, like stupidity, impulse over logic, etc etc. So guess what this dumbass, aka me decides to do. I decide to go up to Loren like a fucking asshole and do something about it. And you wanna know the best part? I wanted to torture him, so much that I left him alive when he was just an inch away from death.
