The Crackle Goes Kiwi Caper

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Theme music plays.

(In Russia, Carmen and Shadowsan enter a government building.)

Soldier: Credentials, please.

(They hand over their IDs. The soldier scans them and the machine beeps.)

Soldier: Thank you, general.

Shadowsan: As you were.

Carmen: Player, Red Hat is in Red Square.

Player: Glad to hear the IDs worked out. The server vault's on sublevel four. If our intel is accurate, VILE could already be inside.

(Neal the Eel sneaks into the vault through a vent, grunting.)

Neal: Whoo! Easy-peasy. Neal the Eel to Dr. Bellum. I'm in. Server 6609 located.

Dr. Bellum: Well done, Neal. You might make faculty yet.

Neal: Well, I hear there's an opening. And you know how much I enjoy worming my way into those.

Neal: Searching database. And Bob's your uncle.

Dr. Bellum: I have seven uncles, none of whom are named Bob.

Neal: It's just a turn of phrase, love. Means "I found it."

Dr. Bellum: Then say that. I'm a scientist. Colorful vernacular only serves to confuse me.

Neal: Download complete. Is that direct enough for you?

(He notices Carmen and Shadowsan entering.)

Neal: Dos vidaniya, comrades!

Shadowsan: I will take the Eel.

Carmen: I'll take the server.

(Carmen inserts her lipstick flash drive into the computer.)

Carmen: Player, uplink's live. See if you can retrace Neal's slimy trail.

(Shadowsan chases after Neal, grabbing onto his arm.)

Neal: Ah, Instructor Shadowsan. When they told me you defected over to the red side, I didn't realize they meant Russia.

Shadowsan: I will take the data.

Neal: You will try.

(Neal slips out of his grasp.)

Neal: Butterfinger.  Oh, pretty slick. But I'm slicker!

(Neal slips out his grasp again and knocks him to the ground.)

Shadowsan: Aah!

Neal: Hey, get a grip! Do you mind if I vent?

(Neal escapes through the vent, cooing.)










(At Carmen Brand Outerwear, Zack bangs a hammer into wood planks while Ivy caulks something. Player briefs Carmen, Lincoln, and  Shadowsan.)

Player: It took some serious decrypting, but I pinpointed what VILE was after. Technical specs for an experimental electromagnetic pulse generator, codenamed, "Trip Wire." The Russian government attempted to design the next generation of EMP device, long-range with ultimate pinpoint accuracy.

Carmen: Attempted to?

Player: Yep, they couldn't crack it, so Trip Wire was shuttered.

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