My Desires

Chapter 27- The Heart Wants What It Wants

Allison's POV

3 Days Later

"I was bound to secrecy. Yuh fi be proud a mi fi deh wul mi mouth suh long." Nia stated.

"I still can't believe you kept that from me for so long." I recited.

"Mi still cya believe seh yuh nuh see seh a just pum pum Tyler want from yuh." Nia rolled her eyes with a look of distaste on her face. "Mi seh mi just hate di piece a shit."

Nia and I were in my room, rearranging it to make space for my new clothes.

I just finished an unpacking video the same time Nia came over.

She was telling me that Jordan bought her the orange Audi Q3 that she always wanted.

I feel so happy for her. She deserves to be spoiled.

It eventually came on to the topic about the gang and their notorious way of living.

I can't believe this is the whole reason why he broke up with me in the first place.

I understand now but six months of pain doesn't go away in three days.

I still don't know what to think about any of it.

My feelings for him hasn't changed, if anything they just keep on getting stronger.

It's like my heart and my mind doesn't seem to care that I'm risking my life and putting it in a lot of danger.

This is all just too much.

Lorenzo had given me space to soak this all in as I requested and I'm glad he didn't push it.

I know that I wouldn't need any time to think if I ended up seeing him without processing all this.

I'd give into him in a heartbeat because that's just how weak and submissive I am to his presence.

Unable to properly make life threatening commitment.

Sigh.

My heart warms just at the thought of him. I missed the feeling of his lips on mine.

It feels like an explosion of the best feelings in the universe all at once mingling together and creating the best sensation ever.

It feels like we're in our own universe floating on ecstasy.

It feels amazing with him.

So why is it so hard to just accept the consequences and be with him? The little voice in my head asks.

That's just it. The consequences. How can I just accept them just like that?

Because you love him.

I don't even wanna go there.

"....mi nuh trust him neither. Him just show up out a di blue suh. Dat too suspicious." Nia says pulling me from my thoughts.

"Who yaah talk boh?" I asked and closed the now full drawer then moved on to the next.

"Nuh must Tyler." She hissed.

"Your thinking way too much into this. He's just my friend." I sighed.

"Friend mi ass!" She exaggerates. "Him give off a vibe and mi aguh run a back ground check."

"Nia, yuh know Tyler fi months now and yuh just a start think bout fi run a back ground check?" I rolled my eyes at her nonsense.

"Mi neva suspect him back then. Him too pushy now, every minute him waah hang out wid we or keep in touch." She hisses loudly.